


Shrooms: A very Odd AU

by Pi_Cloud



Category: Mean Girls - Richmond/Benjamin/Fey
Genre: ... probably shrooms, And Photosynthesis, But hey there are Zombies, But it's Shroom Zombies so what do you expect, But this one is different because it's like, F/F, Honestly if I saw this and I wasn't the one who wrote it, I can't write romance, I told you it was really weird, I'd probably think the author was high on something, Photosynthetic Mushroom Zombies, This is why you don't eat mushrooms, Yeah I'm sorry this Rejanis will probably suck, Zombie Apocalypse, also it kinda gets dark, and mushrooms, but it's fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine, but not the kind in the story, it's weird - Freeform, not until later though, so it'll probably take forever for them to actually get together, so there's that, those are different okay
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-27
Updated: 2021-02-26
Packaged: 2021-03-03 22:20:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 22
Words: 30,242
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24952927
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pi_Cloud/pseuds/Pi_Cloud
Summary: Janis, Cady, Regina, Gretchen, Karen, and Damian go to Michigan for this end of High School bash. But then the Photosynthetic Mushroom Zombie Apocalypse happens and it all gets weirder from there.
Relationships: Regina George/Janis Sarkisian
Comments: 49
Kudos: 35





	1. In which Damian learns how dirty some songs from childhood are

**Author's Note:**

> This first chapter is just kinda fluff. It's a soft intro I guess to the rest of it? The second chapter is where the actual inciting incident happens, the first chapter's just kinda context.

"Come  _ on _ Janis! You have to come! It'll be fun!" Cady pleaded. The Seniors were going on a beach trip that summer. It was going to be a sort of final hurrah before they all left for college. The Senior Beach Trip was already an unofficial annual thing (the school didn't want to take responsibility), but all of the drama that had occured made it that much more important in the eyes of the student body.

"No way am I going to hang out with Regina in a beach house for a week. Sounds like hell," Janis said.

"Everyone's coming though!" Cady pouted, "It's the last thing we can do together before college!"

"I've never been one to fall for peer pressure, Cady," Janis said, rolling her eyes. She was only half paying attention, because her English teacher had assigned them an essay in the second to last week of school. What kind of teacher does that, anyway?

"Damian is coming! He'll be in the house too!" Cady said.

"Wait  _ Damian's _ going- wait no actually that sounds totally like something he'd do. You should've just led with that," Janis pointed out.

"Yay! This'll be so much fun!" Cady exclaimed, grinning and giving Janis a hug.

Needless to say, nothing about that trip went as planned. It was not fun in any way, shape, or form of the term. And yet despite the chaos that ensued, Janis found that she was quite glad she decided to go. 

* * *

"Bye mom!" Janis shouted, about to get into the car. Gretchen and Damian were already in the front seats. Karen and Cady were in the very back row. Unfortunately, that meant that Janis would have to sit next to…

"Regina, um could you and Damian please switch seats?" Gretchen asked, her voice higher pitched than usual.

"Why's that necess- oh," Damian said, promptly exchanging seats with Regina.

The seating situation having now been made significantly less awkward, Gretchen began her pre-car ride lecture. "Now I know most of you have already heard this lecture, but it never hurts to hear it again. None of you better leave any trash in my car. And none of y'all drive this car but me. I know all of you have licenses, but I don't trust any of you. I swear if any of you so much as leave a candy wrapper in here I will not drive you anywhere for months. Yes, I will leave you stranded in Michigan. You will have to find your own way home."

Although this sounded quite ludicrous, especially considering it was Gretchen, Janis knew that Gretchen was not messing around. She'd heard stories from Damian of Gretchen leaving Karen and even Regina stranded at parties because of spilled drinks. Despite the fact that Gretchen had been a virtual doormat to Regina, she got remarkably aggressive when it came to her beloved car. 

"Who gets the aux cord?" Damian asked.

"Not you," said Janis, "last time you chose the music we ended up listening to far more Book of Mormon than I ever needed to hear. Do you know how long it took for me to get that one song about Hell Dreams out of my head?"

"You will not disrespect Andrew Rannells!" Damien exclaimed, scandalized.

"Driver usually picks music on my family's car rides," Karen commented. 

Seeing as Gretchen's music tastes offended no one and it was only fair that the driver chose music, everyone agreed that Gretchen's was probably the best choice. The playlist was an odd mix of 2000s music and Taylor Swift. It fell a bit heavier on the Taylor Swift than Janis found strictly necessary, but she'd gotten a lot less picky ever since she'd had to listen to showtoons for an hour last time Damian picked.

For the first thirty or so minutes, the car was quiet except for the sound of nostalgic 2000s music playing over the car's radio. Janis got the feeling that everyone was a bit on edge. Every now and then Cady would glance between her and Regina, as though afraid they would end up in an all out battle with each other. Although this irritated Janis in no small amount, she couldn't deny that their fears were not totally irrational. Regina George was 90% of the reason she didn't want to go on this trip anyway. It took no small amount of self control for Janis to avoid starting petty arguments about anything from how Regina had her seat  _ slightly _ too far back to the bored tone of her navigation instructions she gave to Gretchen.

Even though Janis had technically gotten her revenge on Regina, she still hasn't given up her grudge. Old wounds cut deep, and Janis doubted she ever would be able to forgive Regina, considering what she'd done in Eighth Grade.

It certainly didn't help that Regina had apologized to Cady and not to Janis. Janis was the one whose entire social career had been ruined by Regina. Janis was the one who had gotten ostracized by the whole school and suffered relentless abuse for months because of what Regina did. And yet Cady got the apology. Janis wouldn't begrudge Cady that, of course, it wasn't really Cady's fault that Regina hadn't apologized to her yet, but it still hurt.

If Janis had been more observant of Regina, she would have noticed the anxious state Regina was always in when she was near Janis. She would have noticed the way her eyes constantly darted around, as though she wanted to run out of the room as quickly as possible. She would have noticed that any time she saw Regina in the halls, Regina would hide behind lockers and other students, not willing to make eye contact. She would have noticed the way Regina's eyes became downcast and almost teary whenever she was near Janis.

However, when Janis looked at Regina, she did not see this. She merely saw the girl who had ruined her life. She saw the arrogant Apex Predator, the Queen Bee who had been taken down from her high ranking, but still wouldn't deign to talk to her.

"Oh my God this song is so dirty!" Damian exclaimed, startling Janis from her musings. "I cannot believe my parents let me listen to this!" The song If You Seek Amy had just come on.

"Yeah you'd be surprised how many sex songs we ended up hearing as children," Gretchen said, "It shocked me too. I feel like that could be its own playlist."

"Why do you have to ruin my childhood like this?" Damian asked.

"It's a good song!" Gretchen said.

"I sang along to this on car rides!" Damian said, "on family  _ car rides _ ! And my parents didn't stop me!"

Cady then began singing along to it. Karen soon followed. Soon enough, the entire car was singing along, as Damian's face slowly grew more red. Even Janis started singing.

When the song ended, they all just started laughing. "Wait I'm not sure I totally understand," Karen said, "What  _ is _ that song about?"

"My God Karen," Regina commented, "How can you be so pure minded even though…"

"Say it out loud, Karen," Gretchen instructed.

Karen said the title out loud. "I still don't get it."

"What does it spell?" Regina asked.

Karen's eyes grew wide. "Oh. I get it now."

The rest of the car ride proved to be far more fun than the first part. There were still the nervous glances, particularly whenever the newer Taylor Swift songs came on, but Janis actually began to relax. 

* * *

Thus it was happily and without confrontation that the group reached Grand Haven. They weren't the first group there, Janis noticed. Gretchen fetched the key to their beach house. 

It was a nice two storied house, painted light blue. The first floor just had a sparsely filled kitchen and living room. The second floor had three small bedrooms.

"How are we going to decide who's in rooms with who?" Cady asked.

"Let's do it randomly!" Gretchen said, "That way no one will feel left out!" After seeing Regina nervously look at Janis, Gretchen amended, "Um well, if you really hate the person you're assigned with, you can always switch!"

They decided to do it spin the bottle style. "Ooh! I'll go first!" Karen said, "I'm very good at spin the bottle!" It landed on Cady. "Cool!"

Damian spun next, and got Regina, to everyone's relief. That left Gretchen with Janis. Although it wasn't a totally natural setup, Janis would've preferred Damian or Cady, Gretchen wasn't the worst person to be paired with.

The six of them went out to the car, got their suitcases and began unpacking.

"I'll take the top drawer?" Janis asked.

"Sure," Gretchen said.

As Gretchen unpacked, Janis noticed a small notebook at the bottom of her suitcase. "Oh, you keep a diary?" Janis asked.

"Oh! Um, yeah. After Regina started, um, like not being friends—or well after I thought she didn't want to be friends, I um decided that I'd start writing a journal to um write down my experiences and to kind of, I don't know, validate them I guess?"

"Oh," Janis said. She had forgotten about Gretchen's place in the drama that had happened. There was a certain cruelty with which she'd treated Gretchen. It was something she frequently forgot when thinking about the entire collection of incidents. "I'm sorry about that, by the way."

"No, it's fine! I know there were more important things for you to think about than little old me," Gretchen said with a self deprecating laugh. 

Janis didn't really know what to say to this. She decided to totally change the subject. "Uh, nice job picking out the house for us to stay in."

"Thanks!" Gretchen said, looking relieved at the change of topic, "I decided to have ours be farther from the beach so won't be our house that they throw the party at," Gretchen explained.

Oh gosh. Janis knew that there would be parties while they were in Grand Haven, but she hadn't realized that she would probably have to go to them. It wasn't the alcohol that scared her, she'd gotten drunk before a couple times with Damian. Those times had just been the two of them, though. Ever since Eighth grade, Janis had pretty much been socially excommunicated, and although it wouldn't have been hard to go to a party, a part of her was a bit afraid of doing something really stupid in front of her peers.

Well, at least if she did something stupid there, it would only stick with her the rest of the week. After that, she'd be off to University of Illinois and she could leave all of the idiots in her class behind. Except Damian and Cady, of course. The rest of them, well. Janis would be all too happy to never see them again. So, she reasoned with herself, there was really nothing to be worried about. It was just a fun end of year trip, right? What was the worst that could happen?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah this is my first fanfiction... This chapter ended up being more fluffy than I expected, but hey things'll get very weird in the coming chapters so buckle up.


	2. In which a pizza with mushrooms is eaten

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Janis and company go to a party.  
> This one doesn't have zombies or photosynthesis in it yet. It only has the mushrooms.

Although it was their first night in the beach house, the Senior class of North Shore High School, they still got their parties off to a roaring start. When Cady had said everyone was going, Janis hadn't quite realized the extent of  _ everyone _ . Even the loners and the stoners were there! Of course, because basically the entire Senior class was there, things were rather cramped. Janis had no idea whose beach house it was, but from the way things were going, they'd certainly have a lot to clean up if they wished for it to even remotely resemble how it looked coming in.

"What am I supposed to be doing?" she shouted at Cady.

"Just have fun! Drink! Dance! It'll come naturally to you!"

Janis sincerely doubted that. She searched for Damian, but he had already disappeared in the crowd. She looked around, and Cady was gone too. How did everyone manage to get separated so quickly? Not knowing what else to do, Janis just started wandering around the house, in search of what she didn't know. Mostly she was looking for a friendly face to talk to. About ten minutes into these wanderings, she decided that she wouldn't mind finding the alcohol source either. She recalled that it was probably somewhere in the kitchen.

Sitting around the kitchen table were these five random guys eating a pizza. Her brain automatically cycled through its list of school cliques. They looked like school stoners. "Heyyyyyy Janis," one of them slurred, "Want some of our pizza?"

"It's reallllly good," another one said, "Particularly the mushrooms. They're maaaaagical."

Were they...eating a pizza with shrooms on it? Their dilated eyes seemed to say so. Definitely school stoners. "No thanks," Janis said. She then returned to her original quest for booze, finally finding some nearby a stack of red Solo cups. She thought those were just in the movies, but evidently some tropes are true.

Pouring the brownish liquid into her cup, she glanced up. Regina was walking toward her, stumbling slightly. As soon as Regina saw Janis had seen her, however, she turned back and darted away. Janis was glad. She really did  _ not _ feel like talking to Regina right now. Particularly while Regina seemed tipsy at best. Who  _ knows _ how awkward that conversation would be. Janis had seen enough movies to know that conversations with someone you have had with one of your archenemies while one or both of you were intoxicated did not end well. Although to be fair, they rarely ended well even when neither party had anything to drink. Either way, it would take a lot of alcohol in Janis's system for her to want to have any conversation with Regina.

Cautiously sipping her...whatever it was Janis didn't know really, she just figured she needed some form of alcohol  _ not _ to feel out of place and bored, Janis continued her search for Cady or Damian.

Janis figured that by this point, all of the people she knew had to be upstairs. Leaning heavily on the banister, she climbed up the stairs. She heard faint crying over the pounding music, and against her better judgement, decided to investigate.

The sounds were coming from the bathroom. The door was cracked open. Inside were Regina and Gretchen, surrounded by numerous Solo cups. The smell of vomit emanated from the room. In the midst of it all, there was Regina George who was...crying? "It's just so  _ hard _ sometimes, Gretchy. To just carry on like it doesn't matter. Like she doesn't matter, but…" Regina dissolved into sobs.

"It's okay, Regina," Gretchen said, "Everything will work out. It'll be okay."

Janis started feeling like she was really intruding on a personal moment. She wasn't really sure if she even wanted to have this memory inside of her, it was too private, too deep, too conflicting with everything she knew about Regina. She really needed to get a drink. She downed the remainder of her drink, stumbled down the stairs and poured herself another. She downed that one too. The combination of thought suppression and alcohol actually managed to work, and she soon forgot about the whole scene she'd scene in the bathroom. She decided to make her rounds to see if she could find someone. This time, she resolved, she would definitely find Cady or Damian.

Soon enough, she found Damian in a corner flirting with someone. She didn't really recognize who it was, Janis never really had paid any attention to individual faces in the swarm of her peers. They just blended together becoming tables of stereotypes. He looked like a guy from the Speech and Debate team, or maybe even MUN. The two had some ridiculous rivalry that she never had managed to understand. 

She decided to leave Damian alone for now, as he seemed to be enjoying himself well enough. Now, where was Cady…Or even Karen or Gretchen…Or maybe...no not Regina. Regina was the _ last _ person she wanted to encounter while drunk–or tipsy. 

Was she tipsy? She didn't know. Maybe she should drink some more,  _ then _ she'd definitely be tipsy. She chuckled to herself, yes that was funny. She definitely needed more of whatever alcohol this was. Yes. That was a good idea.

She stumbled back to the kitchen, swaying a bit. It was hard to pour the alcohol into her cup this time, the stream of liquid and cup just didn't seem to line up. She finished this drink far quicker than she had the last one. Before she knew it, she had drank– how many cups? She didn't exactly know. It didn't really matter. The party was more fun now. She could wander around and listen to everyone's conversations.They were all really funny. Particularly the flirting ones. Maybe that was how Gretchen learned everyone's secrets, from wandering around while at these parties. Speaking of Gretchen… where was she? Or Cady? Or Reggie—no, her brain chided itself. Regina was  _ not  _ who they were looking for. That would only lead to pain and well, who knows what secrets she'd spill? They were not going to talk to Reggie. Regina. Right.

"Hi Janis!" Suddenly Karen was in front of her. "How're ya liking the party?"

"Hiii Karen. It's so much fun. You just appeared. Like, like Harry Potter. You know? In Harry Potter when people just…" Her arm moved floppily as those to gesture people appearing. "You weren't there and now you are! It's funny. You're funny Karen."

Karen looked at her, slightly concerned. "Janis are you okay?"

Janis grinned. "Kaaaaaren I'm greaaaat. You're greaaat."

"How many drinks have you had, Janis?" 

"I dunno. I stopped counting. It doesn't matter. The party is fun now." Janis grinned, "I like parties. These are so fun. We should do this again."

Karen frowned. "Janis I am going to take you home."

"But Gretchen won't let you use the car." Janis didn't want to be stranded in Michigan. "You're drunk too though. No drunk driving! Drugs are bad!"

"Ah, no I've only had one drink. I stopped drinking more than one after I ended up having sex with two people in one night. And we're going back to our beach house, not your actual house."

"You're no funnnnn Karen. Stop being such a Karen. Hehe," Janis started giggling. "Can I at least have a slice of mushroom pizza?"

"Those weren't good mushrooms," Karen said.

"But they were maaaaagical," Janis said.

"Okay, we're going back." It took quite a bit of coaxing, but Karen somehow managed to bring a stumbling Janis back to their beach house. She took one look at the staircase and knew that expecting Janis to climb that would be all to large a feat. "Janis you're going to sleep now," Karen said, "Mhm, just lay down on the couch."

"Mkay Karen." Janis looked up at her as she placed the blanket on top of Janis. "You're really nice, you know that?"

"Thanks, Janis."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah I love Karen so much. I hope you enjoyed the two chapters of normalcy, because next chapter gets crazy. That one will have the Photosynthetic Mushroom Zombies.


	3. In which a game of Truth or Dare is very rudely interrupted

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The final day of quiet before the storm.

"Is it just me, or does did Jacob and his friends just have a ridiculous breakout last night?" Gretchen asked as she scrolled through her Instagram.

Regina slowly blinked at her, "It is  _ way _ to early in the morning for gossip."

"It's only 11:00!"

"Besides," Regina carried on, "how would you even know? You haven't even went outside! Actually, not going to ask."

Janis heard their voices ringing in the kitchen. Ugh, she had a pounding headache. Everything was way too bright. She wanted to get up, but she was just so tired. She should probably get up. It was after 11:00, and she was used to getting up at 6:30 for school. She practically switched time zones. How late had she stayed up last night? And how much had she drank?

She tried to get up, but immediately got light headed. Her vision got that fuzziness that occurs when you stand up too fast. She fell back on the couch.

"Oh Janis is awake!" Karen said. Janis silently cursed Karen. She did not want to talk to anyone with this headache.

"Want some coffee?" Gretchen called, "It doesn't cure a hangover, but it helps."

Janis usually wasn't a huge fan of coffee, but at this point, she'd try anything. "Sure."

"Okay, so now everyone but Damian is awake," said Gretchen.

"Although some don't want to be," Janis called from the couch.

"Is this your first hangover?" Cady asked.

"Of course not," Janis started another attempt to get up and was hit with a wave of nausea. She tried to curb her urge to throw up. "I just-" talking definitely wasn't an option.

"If you have to throw up, throw up," Gretchen called from the kitchen, "It'll get some of it out of your system."

Janis nodded and somehow managed to stumble to the bathroom before she puked.

"Okay, so about Jacob's acne," Gretchen began.

Cady groaned. "How do you  _ not _ have a hangover, Gretchen?"

"Karen, Regina, and I just have a high alcohol tolerance because we've gone to enough parties," Gretchen said.

Janis looked back at Regina. She did  _ not  _ look like she had a high alcohol tolerance. She was nursing a cup of coffee, staring into its depths as though it would be her the secret to the universe. The memories from last night came rushing back to her. In order to break down like that, Regina probably had to have been very drunk. In Janis's experience, Regina was an expert at disguising any internal happenings. Janis was half convinced that Regina was the facade she put up, although after last night, she knew that probably wasn't true… But still. So the Queen Bee had bad days. Didn't they all?

"I bet it was the shroom pizza," Gretchen said, "Probably the shrooms. There's probably something in it that like, makes them break out or something."

"Would you stop it with Jacob's fucking acne Gretchen!" Regina exclaimed. There was the Regina George they all knew and loved.

Gretchen coiled into herself. "Oh, I'm...I'm sorry. I guess I just found it really weird. Because apparently the pimples are like, all over their bodies."

Not only was that far too much information about random classmates' acne, but it was also far too much information for Gretchen to know before she'd even left the house. Then again, Janis had long since stopped trying to figure out how Gretchen was getting all of her gossip. Someday, that girl was probably going to work for the CIA or FBI. She'd just have to learn to keep her mouth shut.

"Breakfast is ready!" Karen called from the kitchen. Janis shuddered. Honestly, she wasn't sure if her stomach was ready for any food yet. The acidic coffee was bad enough. Not to mention that anything Karen cooked...well, knowing Karen's IQ, it'd be a miracle if it was edible. Janis looked toward the kitchen.

Much to her surprise, Karen had made remarkably edible looking oatmeal with nuts and berries on top. There was also a plate of avocado toast.

"Should I get Damian?" Gretchen asked.

"Sure," said Karen.

Gretchen went upstairs as Cady, Regina, Janis, and Karen went to the kitchen table. Karen gave everyone a piece of toast and bowl of oatmeal. By the time she was done distributing, Damian was downstairs, looking surprisingly chipper.

"You're looking great," Janis told Damian.

"Thank you," Damian said, "So last night, I met this amazing guy."

"Was that the guy you were talking to?" Cady asked Damian.

"Yeah!" Damian responded, "his name is Collin."

"That's so fetch!" Gretchen said, "Spill all the tea."

Janis had noticed that after prom, Gretchen and Damian had become very good friends. They both had that overzealous personality where they constantly brimmed with enthusiasm. Damian had always enjoyed gossip, but hadn't really been able to see the richness of the social fabric of North Shore until he befriended Gretchen. Together, they were a force to be reckoned with.

"This oatmeal is surprisingly good, Karen," complimented Cady.

"It's what Gretch always made after the parties. I decided to give it a try this time!" Karen said.

* * *

After breakfast, Janis went to her room to get out of yesterday's clothes. Although she planned on going back to the living room downstairs, she ended up distracted on Discord and playing mindless games on her phone. About an hour later, Gretchen came into the room. She went into the bathroom and started putting on makeup. "So we're all thinking of going to the beach this afternoon. Would you like to come?"

"Sure," Janis said, "So long as Regina doesn't mind me being around girls in bathing suits."

Gretchen put down her waterproof eyeliner and turned to face Janis. "Could you stop making comments like that?"

Janis blinked. "What?"

"Could you stop making all these random digs toward Regina," she said, "I know what we did to you in eighth grade sucked, but she's changed now."

"Yeah right," Janis muttered.

"Seriously, Janis," Gretchen said, "What has she even done to you since she was hit by that bus— no actually since last year?"

"I- hm." Janis paused, putting down her 2048 game (she thought it was stupid when Cady made her get it, but now she was addicted). What  _ had _ Regina done since then? Sure she'd ignored Janis, but pretty much everyone had done that. Even in High School, Regina hadn't really done anything. She'd just been her normal manipulative self to everyone—well, Cady mostly— but she'd pretty much ignored Janis and Damian altogether. Still, until Regina apologized, Janis wasn't forgiving her. Janis knew an apology from Regina was a rare thing, but still. She deserved one. And she shouldn't forgive Regina just because she hadn't outright abused Janis.

"Just please at least  _ try _ to be civil, okay?" Gretchen asked.

"Okay," Janis said, rolling her eyes, "I will."

* * *

The six, well seven now that Collin had evidently joined their group, enjoyed the day at the beach. It was surprisingly uneventful. Cady, Gretchen, and Karen built a sandcastle while Regina sunbathed. Collin, Janis, and Damian, meanwhile, played in the water. At about 5:00, all of them (except Collin) walked back to their house and took showers, drawing straws for who'd be first.

When it was around dinner time, Gretchen began to cook pasta salad and burgers. 

"Can we just stay here tonight?" Cady asked, "Like I don't know, play truth or dare or something? Last night was fun, but a bit too crazy to do two nights in a row."

Janis agreed, "Yeah I was actually thinking the same thing. Particularly because that means there won't be a hangover involved."

"Can Collin come over?" Damian asked. 

"Sure," Gretchen replied.

"No alcohol this time, right?" Janis said.

* * *

After dinner, Collin came over, and they all gathered around in the living room. Gretchen, Karen, and Cady sat on the couch, while Janis and Regina sat on chairs on the opposite sides of the couch. Collin and Damian moved chairs from the kitchen to sit on. Janis could already tell that Collin and Damian would be one of those very obnoxious couples constantly giving each other dreamy eyes looks. Aaaaand they were doing it right now.

"Who's first?" Cady asked.

"I'll go!" said Gretchen, "Karen! Truth or Dare?"

"Dare!" Karen said with enthusiasm.

"Ummmm… Now I actually have to come up with something… Lemme try to recall one I saw online. Uh… Make out with your hand?"

"Okay!" Karen said, and proceeded to do the dare with vigour. "Now Janis! Truth or Dare?"

Janis responded "truth," because what did she have to hide?

"Who was the first person you kissed romantically?" Karen asked.

Janis knew the question was innocent, but still… "I actually haven't kissed anyone." The room grew awkwardly silent. Janis turned to Collin. "Anyway. Truth or Dare?" Collin wanted truth. "What's the most awkward thing that you ever did?"

Collin immediately responded, "Definitely my HI- sorry Humorous Interpretation piece for Speech and Debate. It's kinda like a one man show, but you tell a whole story. I basically had to act super ridiculous in front of these, like, suburban moms and stuck up dads. I gave one of my characters this falsetto voice, and that was... awkward. If you've ever done a falsetto while someone's 50 year old dad stares into your soul with humorous eyes, it's...not the best experience."

"Wait  _ that _ ' _ s _ what Speech and Debate is?" asked Cady.

Collin furrowed his eyebrows. "No, that's just Interp. The one I'm in, HI, is the really ridiculous one. There's also debate events and ones where you actually deliver speeches. Interp is basically acting. The other events are a lot less silly, but they aren't half as much fun. You should join Speech and Debate! Damian, I've told you, you'd be  _ great _ at some Interp event— oh right the school year is over."

Janis had forgotten that the club specific cliques constantly advertised their club to people. You'd think it was a pyramid scheme for how much they talked about it.

"Anyway, um Cady, truth or dare?" Collin asked.

"Oh gosh… I don't know… Truth, I guess."

"What's the most inappropriate thing you've looked up on incognito?" Collin looked like he'd had this question under his belt for some time. 

Cady looked a bit awkward. "Um this is going to sound really weird but um math porn?" Everyone burst out laughing, even Collin. Cady's cheeks grew pink. "Okay, I'll admit I was looking up like really fun math proofs and stuff, and the 'porn' was tacked on because it was like 1:00 in the morning. I meant it as, like, scenery porn, or nature porn, or that kind of thing. But then I clicked on the first link and discovered that there was actual math...porn…"

Janis could hardly regain her breath. Of course that was what Cady looked up. And of course it started out innocently misphrased. Math porn. Freaking math porn. There were practically tears coming out of her eyes.

When all the laughter had died down, Cady picked Regina. Regina decided on truth. Cady asked, "Who do you have a crush on?"

Regina froze. She was shock still until–"Holy shit! Look behind you!" Her face was shocked.

"Come on, Regina, we're not falling for that," Cady said.

"No she's not kidding," Collin said, "it's Jacob. It looks like he's covered in...fungus?"

The entire group turned to look out the window. Jacob, or at least, that's who they thought it was, was running toward them, his mouth open. His body was covered in these white specks. Janis started hearing screams from the other beach houses. All of the sudden, Jacob began bashing his head on the window to get in.

After a few seconds, the seven came to their senses and all ran. Then, they heard the glass shatter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ummmm yay! The Photosynthetic Mushroom Zombie Apocalypse has begun!


	4. In which Collin grabs a frying pan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first fight against zombies.

Somehow all of them had the same idea to dash upstairs. None of them were sure what exactly was going on, but if someone was trying to break the window with their head (and succeeding!) then, well… None of them particularly wanted to be around that person. Particularly when they were pockmarked with white dots and were probably high.

Cady was the first to say it. “What the hell is going on?”

They all looked around uncertainly. “I think something was in the shrooms that were on that pizza,” Gretchen said, "Because Kelly posted pics of Jacob's friends– the people eating the shroom pizza– who were all covered in the same weird dots. From the short video, it looked like they were all having the same weird behavior."

"Why would Kelly post something on her story while she's being chased by them?" Janis wondered.

Then they heard the running footsteps of what they thought to be Jacob. Evidently he'd gotten in through the back window. Janis peeked over the balcony down to the first floor and saw Jacob, followed at a bit of a distance by one of the other stoners, running toward them, about to go up the stairs. They started running up the stairs with a wobbly gait.

Collin, the only one who had the presence of mind to get a weapon, bashed Jacob on the head. Damian, Gretchen, and Karen gasped. "Don't kill him!" Gretchen cried. Collin ignored her and continued the assault on Jacob's face. Finally, Jacob fell down the stairs, tumbling into his friend. 

Gretchen's phone buzzed, and she compulsively checked it. "Kelly says that Tyler bit her!"

It was at that point that they all realized that it was the zombie apocalypse. All because of bad magic mushrooms on a stupid pizza. What a sucky way for the apocalypse to start.

Jacob and his friend– no, Janis realized, the two  _ zombies _ got up and resumed their unsteady trek up the stairs. "Let's build a barricade!" Damian said, sounding as though he had always wanted to say those words despite the terrifying situation they were in.

Everyone immediately dashed to their bedrooms in search of furniture that could fit through the doorways. Meanwhile, Collin remained at the stairs, armed with his frying pan, fending off the two zombies.

Janis searched around the bedroom hastily, finally finding a large chair. As she dragged it out of the room, she saw Collin, with a final crack, kill Jacob. But just as Jacob's zombified body tumbled down the stairs once again, the other zombies bit Collin. "Shit."

The zombie turned its attention away from Collin and onto the closely approaching Janis. Wrapping the zombie in a hug, Collin used his body to hold it back. Because he'd already been bitten, the zombie didn't even attempt to bite Collin, it just tried to escape his grasp. Janis pushed her chair toward the stair's entrance. The others closely followed with their furniture.

"Why's Collin left out there?" Karen asked, being the last one to arrive. 

"He was bitten," Janis replied, turning to search for something else to use to build the barricade. Slowly but surely, the six of them built up the barricade as Collin finished off the second zombie. They finally had a chance to catch their breath.

Gretchen was the one to voice the question that had been on all of their minds. "What're we going to do now?"

"Gather everything up here, since the Shroomers can easily get to the bottom floor," Cady said.

"Wait, the Shroomers?" Janis asked, "Can't we just call them zombies?"

"Of course not!" Karen chimed in, "we have to come up with a unique name for them. It's like, the number one rule of zombie movies!"

Rolling her eyes, Janis said, "That's stupid."

"Guys, we kinda have more important things to worry about!" Regina said, "How about Collin drags everything up here while he's still transforming because the zombies won't come for him." Even though it was phrased like a question, it sounded more like an order. 

Collin looked quite dour. "Alright, I'll get all of the non-refrigerated food first, and also the weapons and stuff." Eyes downcast, he walked downstairs.

Janis realized that Collin would be dead within the day. It had taken Jacob and his friends about a day to transform, so it'd probably take Collin the same amount of time. How did Regina manage to boss him around when he was practically on his deathbed? Yet… Janis couldn't deny that in this circumstance, Regina's brazen negligence of emotion would probably help more than it hurt.

Over the banister, Collin passed up kitchen supplies, foodstuffs, and a lot of other items found downstairs. As time went on, his body slowly became covered in what appeared to be white acne.

"Okay before the internet goes down, we should probably figure out how to make a water filter," Regina commented, searching it up on her phone, "Once we're done with the main items downstairs, could you get some sand, charcoal, a coffee filter, and pebbles?"

Regina's instruction reminded Janis that they should also probably fill up the other containers with water too. "Cady, let's fill these with water," she said, gesturing toward the bowls. She and Cady went to the bathrooms and started working.

By the time their initial preparations were complete, the second floor hallway was packed with random objects. They decided to temporarily out all of the items in Regina and Damian's room. The water was stored in the bathroom. 

"Where will we go to the bathroom then?" asked Karen.

"In a bucket," answered Cady. Karen and Gretchen immediately looked nauseous. "What? We did it kinda like that in Africa."

"Look, we can't waste the little water we're going to have on luxuries," Janis said, "that means no baths or showers or going to the bathroom the usual way."

"But that's gross!" Karen protested.

"At least you're not dying," Collin shouted. That silenced everyone. Because out of everyone, Collin was really the only one who could truly complain. "Look, guys." His voice went softer and he bit his lip. "I'm probably going to have to kill myself." Everyone looked shocked.

"But...maybe the fungus doesn't transmit via biting!" Damian said, his voice slightly hopeful.

Collin frowned, "Come on, Damian. We both know that's not going to be how it works. I'm glad I could help y'all but… if I die I won't be a threat."

"Actually, Damian raises a fair point," Regina commented, "there's no way for us to know that this zombie disease works the same way it does in the movies. Besides, how many real diseases have 100% kill rates? Not even smallpox did that to the Native Americans, and that was the highest fatality rate due to disease in history."

"But-"

"Worst comes to worst, we practice how to kill zombies on you. We need practice before a mob comes. Besides, we'll be able to observe the transformation process that way," Regina explained. Collin opened his mouth in objection. "Look, if you want we could figure out how to tie you up. Then we'd see how long transformation takes. Or you could just go as far away as possible, and like, swim in the ocean or something."

"Fine," Collin said, "I'll go into the ocean. Hopefully zombies can't swim. Besides, I don't want you to deal with my body." Collin turned around to go back downstairs. "Goodbye. The two days I've known you have been fun." His voice broke. "Bye Damian." He walked down the stairs, and into the dark night.

The group was silent. Even though they'd only spent one day with Collin, his departure struck them all with a certain gravity. He was the only one who had remembered to get a weapon when they ran, who knows if they would've survived had he not happened to be there for the Truth or Dare game. They'd probably have ended up trapped in one of the bedrooms, afraid to open the door. They probably would've been able to kill the zombies, but more of them probably would have died. Who knows? Either way, Collin had saved the life of at least one of them.

Janis noticed the eerie silence all around them. There was no sound of a late night party going on. It was already 2:30 in the morning. Despite how late it was, none of them could sleep. They were all still filled with adrenaline and fear. The zombie apocalypse was always something Janis had simply theorized about, not something she'd ever thought would happen. Who would?

"We should probably sleep," Gretchen pointed out, "We'll need the energy for tomorrow."

They all agreed. Seeing as Damian and Regina's room was filled with miscellaneous objects from downstairs, it was decided that Damian would go to Gretchen and Janis's room, while Regina would sleep in Karen and Cady's. They made a pallet from the cushions Collin had brought up earlier. At least an hour went by, and if the uneven breaths were any sign, Janis wasn't the only one not asleep.

A few minutes later, the door creaked open. Janis sat up, immediately alert. It was only Cady. "Could we um, all sleep in the same room tonight?'

"Absolutely," Damian said.

Cady, Karen, and Regina came in, bringing comforters and cushions, hastily creating makeshift beds. The room got quite crowded, but within the hour they all fell asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My tip for the zombie apocalypse is to grab a frying pan. Probably not the most effective thing to use, but you look like Rapunzel, so...


	5. In which a garage code spells "yeet"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time for the squad to get rid of some bodies and get a weapons upgrade.

"What should we do with the bodies?" asked Damian.

The six of them were sitting on their beds, eating bananas and untoasted bread because they didn't bring a toaster upstairs. It wasn't the best breakfast Janis had ever eaten, but it wasn't the worst either. She wasn't used to eating breakfast in bed, but honestly it was pretty nice.

Surprisingly, the bodies hadn't begun to decompose or smell yet. They were still lying at the foot of the staircase. Overnight, it looked like the white specks had been slightly raised above the body.

"We could skin them, cure the leather, and wear them like masks like the Whisperers do," Janis said.

Everyone turned to stare at her. "Um what?" Gretchen said.

"In the Walking Dead, being covered in zombie blood or wearing their skin means you won't be attacked by zombies. So the Whisperers took advantage of that fact and could basically walk through a horde unscathed," Janis explained, "I mean, the Whisperers themselves were villains but you gotta admit that it wasn't a bad strategy."

"Um, no," Damian said, "That's...gross for one. And also not guaranteed to work."

"You're no fun," Janis responded. The proposal had been a joke anyway. Mostly. Like, 60% joke. What could she say? Janis was a pragmatist.

"If only we could experiment…" Regina thought out loud, "Then we could find out when we would or wouldn't transform."

"We'd have to experiment on actual human beings," Damian pointed out, "And let me just say,  _ that's not happening _ ."

Janis and Regina sighed simultaneously. They made eye contact and smiled. Then Janis remembered that she didn't like Regina and immediately turned away.

"But still, guys, back on topic, what are we doing with the bodies?" Gretchen asked.

They exchanged ideas, from burial to cremation. Cady had recommended dissection so they could see how the fungus (they assumed it was a fungus because it was contracted through mushrooms) affected the physiology. They all agreed that it'd be an interesting idea, but they didn't have a convenient place to do it. They ultimately decided to take the bodies just outside the house and leave them there. If they were really lucky, the bodies would help ward away other zombies.

"We should probably leave the house anyway to scavenge for supplies, at least in the other houses," Janis pointed out, "particularly for food and stuff."

"Ooh yay! Breaking and entering!" said Karen.

"Karen has a point," Cady agreed, "It's only been a day, which means the only currently existing Shroomers are those that ate the shrooms."

"Society will probably have to degrade a bit more before us just breaking and entering is considered acceptable," Regina drawled.

Janis sighed. Her brain had flipped straight to Apocalypse Mode. She didn't like the weird grey area they were in now, where there were both zombies but also laws still applying. "Fime, let's just raid the garage. That has a whole bunch of outdoors stuff."

"We should probably get some crude weapons first," Damian commented.

Thus the four of them searched the top floor for items to use as zombie killing weapons. Damian took Collin's frying pan. Regina decided on a few knives, although Janis doubted they'd be all that effective. Karen and Gretchen grabbed the lids from the toilet tanks. 

"Do we have Duck Tape?" asked Cady. They all shook their heads. Duck Tape was not something one just brought along to a fun friend vacation. "Ah, well. I was thinking we could tape something to these pots to make them sharper." Instead, Cady just grabbed a pot.

There wasn't much they could use for weapons in the house. It was probably because everything was just designed for guests staying there for a week. "Why don't we check the shed to get some of the stuff there?" Janis recommended, "We'll still have to go some way without weapons, but like, there really isn't enough here that could work as a weapon." The entire group agreed.

Because most of their team wouldn't have suitable weapons, they realized that it was even more important that they cover all available skin. They wrapped their arms in some magazines that Karen had brought with her, a trick Janis had learned from some zombie movie. To keep the magazines on, they ripped up one of Regina's shirts. For some reason, Regina had brought something like 14 outfits for what was a week-long trip. Although, Janis couldn't really fault her for that, because it seemed that their stay would be greatly lengthened. By the time they were all finished, they all looked quite bizarre.

* * *

Damian and Cady led the group out of the house, because they had the best weapons. On their way to the garage, Janis snatched one of the trash can lids. If worse came to worst, she figured she'd at least be able to push the zombie away from her.

Thankfully, their progress to the garage was unhindered, probably because the fungus had what Janis estimated to be about a 24 hour transformation time. It'd only be the initial few zombies right now that they'd have to worry about. Janis couldn't help but be slightly thankful that they learned early on about the fungus. Had it been longer, she wouldn't have the guarantee that there were only a few zombies in the streets. Although, now that she thought of it, others could've ate the the shrooms and infected others even before Jacob and his friends did… Well, at least in the nearby area, it seemed that they were in the initial wave. 

They reached the door to the garage. "What's the code," Regina asked, her hand on the keypad. They all exchanged looks with each other, expecting someone else to know the answer. "Don't tell me nobody knows it." Everyone looked around guilty. "Did someone at least get the key to the side door?" No one had.

So they all walked back to the house. Gretchen was the only one who even knew where the key was, so she was the one who climbed over the two barricades, and came back with the key and a tiny Post-it note.

Once again, they walked to the garage and once again, Regina waited to hear the code.

"It's 9338," Gretchen said. 

Regina punched in the numbers, and the garage door creaked open. Inside was a plethora of outdoor equipment, from paddleboards to bicycles. They decided to take the bicycles and helmets back to the house in case they ever needed to travel. Bicycles made very little noise and didn't require gasoline. They weren't sure if the zombies would be attracted to noise, but Janis figured they really didn't want to take chances. Cady took a fire extinguisher she found, Janis a wooden baseball bat, and Regina exchanged her knives for a paddleboard paddle, putting her knives in a beach bucket. Somehow, Karen had managed to find 5 roles of Duck Tape, so she put those in the beach buckets they decided they'd use to store the items they found.

They scoured the space for any other helpful equipment. Janis found a shovel, and Cady a lot of rope.

They biked back to the beach house. Gretchen and Karen were far too squeamish to handle the bodies, something Janis hoped would change in the coming days, because squeamishness isn't a good character trait in the apocalypse. So it was the other four that were in charge of moving the mushroom covered bodies. As Janis picked up Jacob's body, she accidentally scratched some of the white caps off. It left what looked like a white stalk embedded in the skin. Were mushrooms growing through their skin?

Curious, she tugged up one of the caps, but it only fell off. She pushed down the skin, and then pulled up on the stalk. It was difficult, but it pulled up what appeared to be roots beneath the mushroom.

"Cady, we might have to have that dissection after all. We can use the outside table, and one of us could stand guard," Janis shouted about, "Besides, we still have hours before the rest of the infected transform, if it takes 24 hours."

"Sweet!" Cady exclaimed, dragging Jacob's friend's body with Regina.

"Don't expect me to be there for that!" Regina called.

"Or me!" Damian added.

Janis and Damian finished carrying Jacob's body to the back porch. This was the first time Janis saw the damage done to the back window. A pool of glass surrounded the gaping hole in the porch. The entire segment of one of the back windows had shattered, leaving only a fringe of sharp glass. Carefully avoiding the glass, she and Damian laid the body on the metal table. The bottom of his legs didn't fit, but thankfully he didn't slide off the table.

"Reg, could you get us those knives?" Cady asked.

Regina nodded and disappeared back into the house. Cady and Janis taped his arms and legs to the table to prevent him from falling off the table while dissecting. Regina returned with the knives, bringing two– one small sharp one, the other larger. "Good luck with whatever you're trying to figure out," she said, before going back inside, her shoes crunching on the glass.

"So. Who's dissecting?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was planning for them to go scavenging around the town, then I realized that'd be breaking and entering. Silly laws, always infringing on convenience of random fanfiction writers.  
> Yeah there will be a dissection next chapter. I, um, like dissections.  
> Also, the movie Janis got the wrapping arms in paper trick is World War Z. I strongly recommend it. It's also based on a very good book, although it is written a bit oddly, so the two don't have much of a correlation to each other.


	6. In which an impromptu dissection is done

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cady and Janis dissect Jacob's body, the phrase "Photosynthetic Mushroom Zombies" is dropped.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so the majority of this chapter is a dissection. If such things make you queasy or uncomfortable, the beginning and end of that part is marked by '***'. The findings of Cady and Janis are explained later in the chapter, so it'd probably still make sense

"So, who's dissecting?" Janis asked.

"I will," Cady answered. "I had to butcher meat in Africa, so it can't be too different."

Janis had her own thoughts about how animal and human dissections were different, but she kept those to herself. Pushing back her sleeves, Cady got to work.

***

She started by doing something similar to what Janis had done earlier while carrying Jacob's body— pushing down on the skin, picking at the cap, and tugging at the stalks. Then, she picked up the small knife. Slicing into the cap covered skin, she peeled back the outer layer. It was difficult to do, as Janis's initial hypothesis was correct. There were mushrooms embedded in his skin. Beneath the skin, it looked like there was a network of white lines. Janis unlocked her phone and searched up “mushroom diagram.” Mycelium. That’s what the roots were called.

Cady skillfully cut a square of skin off, slicing through the stalks. The stalks had somehow pushed through and punctured the skin. Janis was surprised that there wasn’t blood when the skin was pierced.

Looking closer to the arm where Cady was dissecting, she realized that somehow the mycelium grew from the blood vessels. How they didn’t clog blood flow was unclear, but it seemed that the mycelium replaced part of the blood vessels’ outer wall. “Huh, I bet they’re treating the blood supply as the nutrient source,” Cady commented.

Even though Cady was into math, Janis could also see Cady becoming a doctor or biologist. She certainly seemed to have the knowledge for it. Cady didn’t show it that obviously, but she was a huge nerd. How Janis hadn’t realized this from the moment Cady looked at the Mathletes table with affection was unknown.

Cady then began to move deeper into the arm, to observe how the fungus affected the muscles and bones. They seemed to be left intact, aside from a few mycelium embedded in them, to better root the mushroom system. Perhaps the mushrooms affected the nervous system as opposed to the muscular system, although that didn’t explain why the skin had to be covered in mushroom caps.

She told Cady as much, so she and Cady untaped Jacob from the table, flipping him over and tying him down again. A bit of blood dripped on the floor from where Cady had cut out the skin. Cady divided the skin near the spine, cutting through the white tendrils of the mycelium and the reddish muscle. Sure enough, the spine had small caps that seemed to push through the spine somehow. Cady explained that it would be very difficult to break into the spine, but if she had to hazard a guess, the spinal cord would probably be covered in white strands too. "I'm not sure how to dissect the skull to get the brain, and I  _ really _ don't want to bludgeon it with a pan, so… Internal organs," Cady said.

Flipping the body back over, Cady proceeded to check the lungs and heart. Much to Janis’s surprise, neither seemed to be greatly affected. So far, the mushrooms had only grown around the nerve centers and skin- only places which would control the movement of the body.

In order to figure out to what extent the other senses were affected, Cady looked at the eyes, which were coated with mushrooms. She began to carve up the eyeballs. At this point, Janis had to look away. She was usually fine with dissections, but for whatever reason, eyes had always made her more squeamish. After a few minutes, Janis asked, “Done yet?”

“Yep,” Cady said, “Oh also, could you make notes of what we see? That way we can access this later. I can’t take them because, well.” She waved around her hands, which were now lightly coated with the crimson blood. If Janis looked closely, she could see white flakes floating within it.

"Roger that, "Janis said, taking out her phone and opened the notes app. The electricity would eventually go out and her phone battery would then die, so she’d transcribe the notes on paper once it was over; she just didn’t want to leave Cady outside alone in the midst of the zombie apocalypse.

By that point, Cady had also started to look at the mouth, which the mushrooms seemed to have treated as skin. Jacob’s spit seemed to contain white specks which were similar to what she’d seen in the blood. "I think there are spores in the bodily fluids," Cady said, "I bet when someone's bitten the spores enter the bloodstream."

***

Janis jotted this down on her phone. "Okay what's left?"

"I don't know… I mean, we haven't seen the stomach or legs or anything, but I don't think it'd be all that helpful. We could do the skull, but I'm not all that sure what it'd show us," Cady explained.

"Cool," Janis responded, "Yeah we should probably get back in soon and explain what we know to the others because," she paused, checking the time on her phone, "Soon whoever the first zombies bit will become zombies and well, I'd rather be inside for that."

Cady agreed, so they placed Jacob's body next to his friend's and stepped back inside the house. The pair of them climbed over the two barricades, doing their best to restack the small items that fell off during their climbing. 

Once they returned, they, or well, mostly Cady, debriefed the others. "So basically, the fungus mainly gets control of three systems: the circulatory, nervous, and sensory systems. The spores are transmitted through bodily fluids contact. Mushrooms grow through the skin and form roots near the bloodstream, which I think is how they gain nutrients. And I think they control the body using the nervous system."

The rest of the group nodded along. Cady had done a good job of concisely summarizing what they had known.

"How do they get energy?" asked Damian.

"Um the bloodstream?" Cady answered hesitantly.

"But won't that energy eventually run out?" Damian pointed out.

"Maybe they're like plants," Karen commented, "because mushrooms are plants."

"Um, biologically they aren't, but you might be right, Karen…" Cady said.

"So basically," Janis summarized, "We are fighting photosynthetic mushroom zombies. God that sounds stupid."

"They're FMZs!" Karen exclaimed happily.

They all looked around in slight confusion.

"Um Karen," Gretchen said, "I think 'photosynthetic' starts with a 'p' not an 'f'."

"English is weird," Karen said.

Janis found she had to agree, although Karen seemed slightly more weird than the English language, a difficult feat. Between English's odd spelling habits and Karen's subpar intelligence, it was a miracle Karen managed to spell anything right at all.

"So it would be PMZs," Gretchen explained.

Regina raised her eyebrows. "That sounds awfully close to PMS."

"Ssh!" Damian hushed them. The six fell silent. "Do you hear that?" he whispered. Janis heard what sounded like many feet walking– running, even. She looked out the window. Outside were the zombies of their classmates, running toward them unsteadily.

"Get your weapons," Regina whispered, "I think there's a mob coming."

Everyone reached for their impromptu weapons. Thankfully, they all had them convenient. Then, Janis heard the crunching of glass. The first zombie was inside.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this chapter is so short... I figure the mob will probably end up being a lengthy part. Also, I didn't finished writing until later, and I wanted to sleep.
> 
> Did I watch human body dissections for this? Maybe.


	7. In which we learn that they don’t make things like they used to

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They fight some zombies!

Janis held her breath as she gazed through the banister. The first zombie didn’t seem to have the hand-eye coordination to climb over the couches and chairs pushed up against the stairs. It looked like a videogame character when they couldn’t walk through walls so they just kept walking at them, never actually moving. Every few seconds, it attempted to jump over the barricade to no avail. Slowly, more zombies began to amass at the barricade. So far, none of them were tall enough to get over, but sooner or later one of the zombies would be from the basketball team.  
After a few minutes, the entire mob was at the barricade, marching forward. It was a crush of zombie bodies, pressed against each other. Finally, the agglomeration of furniture toppled, and the zombies ran up the stairs. Many tripped and fell, sweeping those below off their feet. It was because of this that the progress up the stairs was hindered. Many zombie arms and legs were crushed by the feet of those still running.   
Once they got halfway up the staircase, they had access to the banister. They tugged at the group’s legs and the bars of the banister. Janis quickly jumped away. The banister bars were not designed to withhold such force, and easily snapped off. The zombies on the higher part of the staircase were climbing over the edge.  
Janis whacked the zombies’ midsections, attempting to push them back over the edge, sometimes succeeding, sometimes not. Regina attempted to clobber the skulls of the zombies, but paddles were not made for giving zombies concussions, and it didn’t hit the heads with enough force. “Shit!” Regina exclaimed, then ran into one of the bathrooms, emerging with the shovel.  
Once all of the zombies were pushed off the landing, Damian took his frying pan and bashed their arms and hands so they couldn’t grasp it. Janis and Cady followed suit. The bloodied limbs still attempted to grasp at the second floor, but didn’t have enough strength to pull themselves up. It only served to taint the floor with copious amounts of blood.  
Gretchen and Karen, too, seemed to be nervous about accidentally breaking the tops of the water tanks. “If you don’t strike the heads with much force, it won’t be enough!” Janis called, “Wait, Gretchen, Karen, you hit the hands, and Cady, Damian, and I’ll get the heads!”Careful to neither slip on the blood nor get tugged down, Janis stepped between the arms and began bludgeoning the heads. She could tell when she’d executed a particularly good blow when they tumbled down the staircase.  
She lost count of how many heads she had hit, slowly getting into a rhythm. At the base of the staircase, a pile of zombie bodies accumulated. The number of walking (or running) zombies slowly decreased, leaving only those with crushed legs. Many of the zombies had to crawl out from beneath the stack.  
It was Cady who killed the final upright zombie. Of course, that still left the twenty or so crawlers. Those, Janis could already tell, would be the harder ones to kill, because they required that she get up close and personal. The crawlers hauled themselves up the stairs. Janis would’ve attempted to crush their arms, but she couldn’t do that without going on the stairs and immersing herself there.  
“Do we have gasoline?” Regina asked, “We could burn them all.”  
“Um, no” Cady said, “That would make the house burn down.”  
“Damn. That’d be pretty cool, though,” Regina commented.  
“So what’s the plan to deal with the crawling ones, then?” Gretchen asked.  
"Combat boots." Janis stated.  
"Come again?" Cady asked.  
"We wear combat boots so they can't eat our feet," Janis explained.  
"I don't have combat boots," Karen said, "Do high heels work?"  
Janis rolled her eyes. "No. Am I the only one who brought a pair of combat boots on this vacation?"  
"Yes," everyone else said simultaneously.  
What did she expect, going on a vacation with a whole bunch of Plastics? "Okay, well I'll go down and bash some heads. Unless any of you brought jeans and sneakers?" They all shook their heads. "Could we tape sharp stuff to my bat to make it more effective?"  
"Like what?" Gretchen asked.  
"I don't know, nails? Or barbed wire? Like in the Walking Dead?" Janis offered.  
"Um… where would we find those?" Cady asked.  
Janis shrugged. "Okay then. I'll just use my normal bat. We can upgrade it later."  
Janis was still in her combat boots and paper armor from when they went to the garage (unlike everyone else, she and Cady had kept the paper armor on because they hadn't yet had time to take it off), so she just climbed over the barricade. Each zombie, she smashed the arms first, so they couldn't climb, and then the head. Meanwhile, her friends cheered her on. Janis rolled her eyes. "Not necessary guys," she turned and shouted.  
She felt a hand grasp her ankle. Damn it. She got distracted. She shook it lose, kicking it away. It left a bloody stain on its forehead from her steel tipped boots.  
Higher elevation may be an advantage when it came to shooting, but when it came to melee fighting, it almost felt like a disadvantage. She had to bend over or crouch in order to get within striking distance of crawlers, which was quite irritating. She really wished that she had a nail or barbed wire covered baseball bat, but alas. It was a vacation home, not an actual house, she supposed, so they wouldn't usually keep handy supplies around. Something sharp would certainly make it easier though… or at least more dramatic. It had become almost like lethal wack-a-mole. She was honestly surprised her bat hadn't broken yet.  
To be honest, the whole zombie apocalypse thing was less exciting than she'd expected. Well, the fighting was, at least. Instead of enjoying the experience, she was somehow simultaneously bored and fearful for her life. Fighting zombies wasn't that interesting when one is simply on a staircase. And after the first five in a horde, it just became mundane. The Walking Dead made it look so much more interesting...  
Finally, she hit the final zombie's head. She turned around, about to go back over, when suddenly, she heard movement behind her. Somehow, there had been a zombie still lurking in the pile of bodies, unable to get out until then. Sighing, she delivered a wack to that zombie's skull. It did make her consider, though, that they would have to be mindful of zombies that couldn't walk of crawl because of broken limbs, if they ever did go through that pile. Which they probably should, if only to get the zombie bodies out of the stairwell. Escape was already looking very difficult, unless one was willing to crawl over the mass of mushroom covered flesh. Which Janis doubted many in her party were.   
Then again, they wouldn't need to escape the house for at least a week. Gretchen had bought so much food that even without the stuff in the fridge, they could eat for a week, so long as they rationed it out. What she had formerly teased Gretchen about, now seemed to work to their advantage, seeing as stealing from other houses (right now, at least) was still socially unacceptable.  
Janis climbed back over the barricade.  
"Yay!" Karen said, "we survived our first mob!"  
The rest of them smiled tentatively.  
"Now that that's done, Janis said, "Should we put something over the banister to prevent them from climbing over?"  
"Great idea!" Regina said, "Should I help?"  
Janis paused. Was she ready to do a task with her only partner being Regina? What was Regina trying to tell her?  
Was Regina asking if Janis had forgiven her? If so, Janis should say "no," or at least ask Gretchen to do it, because Janis hadn't forgiven or forgotten. Then again, maybe Regina was looking for an opportunity to apologize, in which case Janis should say "yes." Although, come to think of it, why should Janis make this easy for Regina? Regina sure as hell hadn't made it easy for Janis to just go a day without being taunted for most of Eighth and Ninth Grade.  
Or maybe Regina wasn't saying anything subliminally, she just thought it was genuinely a good idea and wanted to help. Maybe Regina was over the entire drama and was treating Janis as normal although… Regina didn't really seem to ever talk directly to Janis… So maybe she wasn't over it? Why did this have to be so complicated?  
What the hell, if she said "no," she'd probably seem like a jerk anyway. And didn't Gretchen say she should stop making digs at Regina anyway?  
"Sure, why not?" Janis responded at last.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!
> 
> The funny thing is I haven't actually watched the Walking Dead, because I don't watch horror-type stuff.  
> I also don't usually write action-heavy scenes, but a PMZ AU kinda requires it.


	8. In which an unorthodox dinner is eaten

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Regina and Janis talk.

"So, what were you thinking of putting up?" Regina asked as the rest of the group, aside from Janis, walked back into the bedrooms.

"Maybe a shower curtain or something? I don't think it'd be easy to claw through that," Janis said.

"Great idea! I'll get it now!" Regina quickly walked into the bathroom, leaving the door slightly ajar behind her. Janis waited.

After a few seconds, she heard the clatter of what sounded like a pole hitting the edge of the bathtub, followed by a, "Shit!"

"Everything good in there?" Janis called.

"Um, yeah!" Regina said, giving a weird chuckle, "everything's fine!"

Janis heard another crash, then Regina came out with a bruise on her face, hands shaking as she carried the shower curtain. Janis raised an eyebrow. "What happened?"

"Shower rod fell on me when I was getting the shower curtain," Regina explained.

"Should you, like, ice it or something?" Janis asked.

"No, it's fine," Regina said.

The two got to work, using the duck tape to fasten the shower curtain with the floor and banister. All the while, Janis waited for Regina to say an apology. Or say something at all, anything, really. They were almost finished taping the shower curtain down when– "Janis?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm really sorry for eighth grade. That was such a shitty thing for me to do. I guess I just wanted to maintain my position in the hierarchy and fit in and stuff. And I know that's no excuse to be such a crappy person, actually that excuse would probably make me an even worse person, but I guess I just want you to know kinda where I was coming from? Anyway, I'm sorry." Regina said this all in a bit of a rush. It sounded like something Regina had rehearsed what she was saying for some time.

"Okay," Janis simply responded.

"I'm really sorry it took me so long to say this," Regina said, "I was just so...afraid… Of what I don't know...you hating me, probably. Which, yeah, is foolish, because you already hate me...I guess I just didn't want to hear it... because us being civil to each other was more appealing to me than you outright saying that I was a bitch who you would never forgive. Even though I knew those things were true, I guess you saying it just would've made it too real…"

This admission took Janis by surprise. She'd never heard Regina be so honest with someone, particularly her. "I might be able to forgive you someday. Right now, I guess it's just too raw. The apology helps a lot. For the record, I'm sorry too. I know I wasn't the best person to you in Senior year."

"I deserved it," Regina said.

"That doesn't really make it right," Janis responded.

Regina gave a sad smirk. "The entire grade wanted to do what you did. You were just the only one with the guts to."

A part of Janis wanted to say something reassuring, but Regina was right. The entire school hated her in some capacity. "Why did you act so cruel, then, if you knew everyone would hate you?"

Regina shrugged. "Because power is intoxicating. To me, being the villain is better than being a neutral side character. And even if the entire grade hates me, I know they won't do anything about it because they know I could make their lives a living hell. I'd already lost all my power over you. And I suppose that's why I used the Burn Book. By that point, that was the last shred of power over the school I had left."

"I don't know, I think people were still afraid of you even after Cady overthrew you."

"They stopped being consciously aware of all I could do to them. I was no longer at the top. If you aren't the Apex Predator, then who are you?" asked Regina.

"Gee, thanks," Janis said sarcastically.

"But seriously– all I've ever known is being the Alpha Bitch. I don't know who I am without that."

"You're a human being? Like the rest of us?"

"I know I am. Or I guess I know I _should_ know that. I don't know. I guess that's kind of what I'm trying to figure out at this point. I'm trying to find who I am without my insane popular bitchyness, because I'm just so used to that bring me."

Janis didn't really didn't know what to say to that. "Well… I guess you can now know there's more to yourself than that."

"That's the thing. I'm not sure if there is." Regina's voice grew rough.

"Of course there is. You didn't just stop having personality after you stopped being the queen bee."

"I suppose… Sorry, I just kinda dumped this all on you for no good reason."

"No, it's fine," Janis said, "it at least kinda makes me understand where you're coming from more."

"Thanks. Should we, uh, go back now?" Regina asked.

"Probably."

Janis and Regina walked into the bedroom to go back with the rest of the group. When they did, suddenly all conversation stopped. Janis raised her eyebrows. "Were you talking about us?" 

The group started talking over each other with denials of that fact. "No we'd never. " "Really? Why would you think that?" "What a silly idea. Preposterous!"

Yeah they were definitely talking about them.

Regina cleared her throat. "Shall we eat?" Between fighting the zombies and dissecting and fixing the banister, it had been a long day, and they hadn't even had dinner yet. Janis could already tell they were going to start getting creative. At the moment, they were all feeling lazy, so they decided to just have granola bars and chips. After that, they all decided to go to bed.

"Shouldn't we have a watch?" Gretchen asked, "It's fine, I can go first."

"We should probably do two people just in case one falls asleep," Damian offered, "I suppose we can go first, then Cady and Janis, then Regina and Karen. Does two and a half hours work?"

They all nodded, and went into the bedroom, except Damian and Gretchen.

As Janis fell asleep that night, she thought about what Regina had said. To be honest, it was all a bit sudden. The conversation hadn't lasted all that long. One second, Regina was apologizing, the next she was explaining her identity crisis. It wasn't irritating, really, just... unexpected. Janis wasn't really sure why Regina had decided to tell Janis all this. Regina admitted she thought Janis hated her, but she'd still told Janis all of her emotional baggage. Perhaps Regina trusted Janis enough not to tease her about it. Or maybe Regina just figured Janis wouldn't hate her any more than she already did. Either way, Regina had confessed to things that one didn't exactly say to one's enemies. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I might not be updating as much, or with the same length chapters. I kinda need to plan out where this is going a bit more, I have a location in mind, but not the stops along the way.  
> Thank you for reading!


	9. In which Janis does braiding for the first time in years

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Janis looks at the news.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! I'm back

“What should we do with the bodies?” Gretchen asked.  
“Didn’t we already do this in Chapter 5?” Karen pointed out.  
Everyone stared at her.  
“Do you mean yesterday? Because yeah we did talk about that, but that was when we had 2 bodies, not like a hundred,” Janis said, “I still think we should cut off their faces and use them as-”  
“NO!” the rest of the group responded.  
“You are such wimps,” Janis said, only half-joking.  
“We could burn them,” Gretchen said.  
“Yeah, but that’d burn the whole house down,” Damian argued.  
“What if we just made a rope or ladder or something out of our sheets or clothes and just ignored the staircase,” Cady offered.  
“Then the house would smell like rotten flesh,” Regina pointed out.  
“Actually, I’m not sure it would,” Cady said, “So far the bodies haven’t been decomposing at all. At least, I don’t smell the bodies downstairs...”  
“It’s still gross to have a mound of zombie bodies in the stairwell,” Gretchen said.  
“Fair,” Cady responded.  
“We could always take over someone else’s house!” Janis commented, “After all, that had to've been at least half the grade.”  
The rest of the group sighed. After some debate, they all agreed that it’d be fine if they raided some other houses, so long as there weren't people there. They agreed that if the house was better suited to the zombie apocalypse, then they could move in there instead. Janis gave a mental cheer. Finally, the rest of them were becoming more pragmatic.  
"Won't we have to move all our stuff though?" Gretchen asked.  
"It shouldn't be that much," Janis said, "It was only a week-long vacation."  
Everyone else in the group guiltily looked at each other.   
"How many outfits did you pack?" Janis asked.  
"Um. About 14?" Gretchen said nervously.  
Janis just stared. How...could that even be considered for a moment to be an appropriate number? "How… Why… I can't… Okay, only pack three or four."  
The Plastics immediately looked scandalized. "Only four outfits?" Karen asked, "How'm I supposed to decide?"  
"Pack the ones that cover the most skin and are easy to walk in. Or we could stay in the house with the dead bodies. Your choice." Janis was scared by the fact that the Plastics actually seemed to consider it. Was this what she would've been like had Regina not bullied her in eighth grade? The Plastics were kind of like a cult– once you were in, you couldn't leave unless forced to. That was frightening.  
"Shall we pack up, then?" Regina asked, "We should probably use backpacks if we brought them, so we can climb down the rope so we can avoid the pile of bodies."  
With some grumbling, they all agreed. Janis had packed lightly for the trip, so she could pack her bag with some efficiency. She only put in two outfits, some toiletries, duct tape, and her Swiss Army Knife (she had received it for Christmas at some point, and she ended up bringing it everywhere with her for no good reason. Although, it had now become rather useful). Realizing she should probably pack some nourishment too, she added water bottles and some granola bars to the mix. Janis pulled out her phone to see the news, and whether anything about Photosynthetic Mushroom Zombies had come up yet. In all the excitement, she'd forgotten to check last night. (Wait, she should probably pack a charger, she thought.)   
She searched "Shroom Zombies" in the toolbar. The first thing that popped up was something about some fungus that infected plants. She clicked on it, and it only took her a couple of seconds to realize that the article had nothing to do with the actual zombies outside.  
Although, she realized, others likely wouldn't be calling them Shroom Zombies. She deleted her search from the toolbar, instead typing "Mushroom Zombie Outbreak." Everyone had to notice the caps on their skin, right? Amid articles about something called cordyceps infecting ants, she saw it.   
It was an article from a local newspaper. The title read "Zombie Apocalypse? Mushroom Coated Teens Chase Others in the Streets." Janis couldn't help but furrow her eyebrows at that. Surely it wasn't only teenagers. Then again, it hadn't been long enough for the adults to be bitten and transform too. After all, the stoner kids who'd first gotten infected only infected other teens, because those were the people surrounding them. Any adults who had been bitten hadn't had time to transform yet.  
Janis read through the article. It was a rather short one, just a couple of paragraphs with some photos of the Shroomers–no zombies, Janis reminded herself (dang it, Cady and Karen were rubbing off on her)– with the faces blurred out. The article advised staying inside and being wary of anyone the reader came across in the street—particularly if they were a teenager covered in mushroom caps. The article also warned that the "mushroom zombies" did bite.  
Janis was rather surprised that it had managed to get published. Even though Janis could confirm every point the article made, it still sounded like a cross between a conspiracy theory and an article for The Onion.  
Janis went back to searching for other articles. There were a few others that were in a similar vein as the first. They were all from local newspapers. None of them seemed to offer any information except the fact that there might be a mushroom zombie outbreak.  
Perhaps there'd be something on the news, Janis mused, searching for the remote. She eventually found it wedged between Cady and Regina's mattresses. She turned on the TV.   
"And for our next story, we find teens covered with white dots chasing adults in the streets. On to you, Jace."  
"We come to you live from Grand Haven beach!" The news reporter, Jace evidently, was standing on the shore. It looked pretty close to the beach house they were staying in. "This is a popular location for graduated Seniors to stay for a couple of weeks over the summer, as the last hurrah before college. Residents of this town are used to such a thing. We are not, however, used to teens running around covered in these white circles. They seem to be chasing adults, or anyone not covered with the white dots. We have no idea what the source of this behavior is. Is it the effects of a new drug? Is it an elaborate prank? Or is this the start of something more sinis–" Jace was cut off by a mushroom zombie barreling toward him.  
The camera promptly switched to the anchor. "Wow. We advise Grand Haven residents to stay indoors. In our next story, you'll see how a high school teacher inspires her students to go outside and explore…"  
Well, if there weren't adult zombies today, it certainly seemed like there would be tomorrow. Unless that was all staged, which was certainly a possibility, albeit a small one. Still, it only confirmed Janis's suspicions that moving to a new beach house was dangerous. They'd need to travel lightly so they could go quickly.   
Janis shouldered her backpack and checked on how far the others were on their packing.   
Cady was in the bathroom, packing her toiletries. Karen and Gretchen were in what had become the main bedroom, advising each other on which outfits to choose. Damian and Regina were perched on either side of the bed, scrolling through their phones.  
Damian glanced up. "Done packing?"  
"Yep," Janis said, "How long do you think those two'll go?"  
"As long as we let them," Regina weighed in.  
“True enough,” Janis responded.  
“Hey, how long ‘til you slowpokes are done packing?” Damian asked.  
Gretchen and Karen looked up from the debate they were having on whether they should bring a pink or white shirt. “Umm… An hour or two?” Gretchen said.  
Janis slowly blinked, “How long did it take you to pack for this trip?”  
“A whole day? We went shopping specifically for this,” Gretchen responded.  
Janis sighed, “Well could you go a bit quicker? We should leave soon so we can get settled in before night.”  
Gretchen and Karen grumbled agreement.  
“How about we make the rope or whatever and they have to be done packing by the time we finish it?” Regina offered.  
“Great idea!” Cady chimed, walking into the room grasping her toiletry bag.  
Everyone except Gretchen and Karen began tugging the sheets off the beds. They brought them back to the other bedroom, which faced the other driveway.  
“We should check the news,” Regina said, turning the television on.  
They braided and tied the sheets together while listening to the noise of the TV in the background. There didn’t seem to be any new news correlating to the mushroom zombies. Janis tugged on the makeshift rope, testing the strength of its knots.   
“I think we’re done,” Damian said.  
Janis looked at the rope and nodded.  
“Should we get the others now?” Cady asked.  
They wandered into the bedroom where Gretchen and Karen were. By some miracle, the two were just finished packing. The group each grabbed their suitcases and backpacks and walked into the front bedroom. Opening the window, Regina tied the rope to the bedpost.  
“So, who’s first?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's been so long since the last chapter. I had a lot of writer's block and was pretty busy, somehow. Thank you so much for reading!


	10. In which the gang does surprisingly little breaking for all their entering

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They break and enter houses, minus the breaking.

"So, who's first?" Regina asked, looking out the window.

"Ooh! I will!" Karen raised her hand, grinning. She climbed out the window and slid down the rope. "Can I have my suitcase?"

Janis and Cady looked at each other. Janis hadn't planned for people packing suitcases. She'd brought a backpack. "Uh, we could just throw it down?"

"Why don't we reel in the rope, tie it around the handle, then lower it down and have Karen untie it?" Cady asked.

They all nodded. Cady grabbed Karen's suitcase, wrapping the rope around the handle of it and tying it off. She then wrapped the rope around the suitcase like it was a ribbon around a present. Tying it off to her satisfaction, she lowered the suitcase to the ground.

With surprising dexterity, Karen unwrapped her suitcase from the mess of sheets tied around it. 

In a similar fashion, the rest of them climbed down the rope.

Before being the final person to climb out the window, Janis remembered their weapons. "Look out! I'm dropping the weapons down!" The group scrambled away from the window, and Janis tossed their weapons out, then slid down the rope.

Grabbing her fire extinguisher, Cady asked, "Should we save the sheets?"

"Nah, we'll be able to get more if we loot another house," Damian replied.

Suitcases in hand and backpacks on back, the six of them walked to the house where the party had been. They kept an eye out for any zombies. Halfway through, Karen asked, "Wait what about the bikes?"

Janis suddenly remembered the bikes the six of them had brought to the house.

"I mean, we wouldn't be able to use them anyway because of our suitcases," Regina asked, "We'll go back later to get them if necessary."

"We should probably snag some backpacks from the house, so we can use those instead.  _ Someone _ who isn't me had to have brought a backpack," Janis commented. 

"Shroomer!" Karen exclaimed, pointing down the road, where a figure ran toward them. They all held their makeshift weapons at the ready. It reached Karen first. She immediately hit it in the head with her shovel repeatedly, stabbing and bludgeoning it. Blood splattered a bit on her shirt. After quite a few hits, the zombie toppled to the ground.

The group stared at her.

Karen looked down at her shirt. "Whoops I got some blood on it. I hope that'll come out." She looked up and saw their slightly dazed expressions. "What?"

Janis was not expecting such violence from Karen. Despite the numerous rumors of how many people had slept with Karen, she'd always seemed rather innocent to Janis. Certainly not one to whale on a zombie with such gusto.

"We just... weren't expecting that…" Damian said faintly.

"It's the Shroomer Apocalypse, silly," Karen responded, cheerfully "What do you expect me to do?"

"I... nevermind," Damian said, slightly shaking his head.

The group continued to the party house without incident. Regina tried the door, but it was locked. They decided to go around and check the back. 

"Oh my God!" Gretchen gave a yelp and pointed at the ground. There was the body of one of the stoner kids. His shirt was stained with alcohol, and it seemed like he'd sustained a massive head injury. Needless to say, it was not a pretty sight.

The interior of the house was sheer chaos. It was clear that not much effort had been made in the slightest to clean up. Flecks of blood were all over the place. In a couple of places, there were puddles where alcohol had spilled. Strewn around the floor were red Solo cups. 

"There is no way we're staying here" Regina said.

"We should still look for backpacks," Cady replied, "It'd make travel so much easier."

The group nodded. "Should we split up?" Gretchen asked.

"No way!" Damian exclaimed, "We are not making that Classic Horror Movie Mistake."

They decided to first search upstairs, as that was where the backpacks would likely be. The first and second rooms just had a suitcase. It was only the third that had two suitably large backpacks.

"'Kay so who gets the first backpacks?" Damian asked.

Each of them tried to tell the others that they didn't need the backpack, they'd take another one. It went on like this for several minutes before Janis had enough. "It doesn't matter! Regina and Karen, you take the backpack."

Cady and Gretchen exchanged a gleeful look.

Janis rolled her eyes. "I  _ saw _ that."

The two had enough courtesy to look ashamed at that.

In the rest of the house, they only grabbed a granola bars, some alcohol (Cady told them it'd be for medical purposes, but Janis doubted that sanitation would be the only thing they'd use it for), a frying pan (which Gretchen happily picked up so she could finally get rid of her toilet lid), and a couple of kitchen knives.

The six walked back out the door to see if there were other houses that would be better candidates for them to colonize. 

* * *

The next house they entered had far greater potential. It was clear that whatever friend group was staying in this house had left for the party and hadn't come back. Janis was actually surprised that everyone at the party had gotten bitten. After all, how long could it take for fifty teenagers to kill a couple of zombies? Although by that point, most of them  _ were _ probably drunk… Perhaps more people had eaten them mushroom pizza than she had thought. That option made sense, seeing as  _ she _ had almost eaten the pizza.

As they searched around the house, they found three more backpacks.

"Should we stay here instead?" Cady asked.

Janis was in favor of searching for more supplies, but everyone else wanted to stay. So they left the house to bring the bikes there. Then, they began to barricade the front and back doors.

Cady slid an armchair to the front window, blocking that as a point of entry so the zombies couldn't break the glass.

Fortifying the back was harder, because that was one long window with a sliding door. Working together, they pushed the couch up to the window, and stacked all the chairs they could on top of it. Cady directed them how to place the chairs so they wouldn't fall, should the zombies try to break through.

By the time they were done, it was about time for dinner. They looked in the fridge, and found some leftover pizza.

"Remember to check for mushrooms," Janis reminded them. She examined her slice, but thankfully mushrooms were nowhere to be found.

"I think every time a house runs out of food," Cady said in between bites of pizza, "we should switch houses. They all nodded their agreement while quietly eating. They hadn't had lunch because they wanted to conserve food.

Soon after dinner, they decided to go to sleep, assigning a watch schedule. They all decided to sleep in the same room again, so keeping watch would be easier. Thankfully, this house had bunk beds so the floor was less crowded. 

Janis wasn't until the second watch, so she tucked herself into the next of blankets she'd made, and somehow managed to quickly fall asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!


	11. In which Janis bops Damian

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Janis and Damian talk.

Janis felt something poking at her shoulder. She let out a long groan, turning over in her bed to fall back asleep. But there it was  _ again _ , nudging at her incessantly. "I'm sleepinggg," she whined. The prodding grew more insistent.

"Wake  _ up _ , Janis," the voice presumably connected to the offending finger whispered.

"But I don't wanna," Janis groaned.

"It's your turn to go on watch," the voice replied.

The events of the past few days came flooding back into Janis's mind with near forceful clarity. Her eyes flew open and she quickly sat up. Pain flooded her head as it collided with Cady's face.

"Ow Jan," Cady said.

Rubbing her bruised forehead, Janis looked over her shoulder and saw Karen's dark shadow shaking Damian awake. Janis got out of bed, carefully avoiding collision with Cady this time, and took Cady's flashlight. Grabbing her baseball bat, she walked out of the bedroom and waited for Damian to join her. 

"Hi," she whispered as Damian's form sat down next to her.

"Hi," he said.

This was the first time the two had been alone since the vacation had begun, Janis realized. "This is insane," she told Damian.

"You're telling me. You actually seem to be adjusting very well," he pointed out.

"Yeah, but I don't know." Janis poked at a hole in her jeans. "It all feels fake. Like we're in a movie or something. Zombie apocalypses… They're a trope, y'know? The stuff of videogames or movies or TV shows. Not something that's actually supposed to happen."

Damian nodded. "Yeah. So far it's been a lot less interesting than one would expect. We've mostly just been wandering around."

"There was that one massive hoard and the other couple of zombies we encountered."

Damian looked down. "Yeah… I wonder where Collin went."

Janis had forgotten about Collin, to be perfectly honest. He was there for 24 hours, and then he vanished. Were this a show, he probably would've been played by some famous actor, like some celebrity appearance. 

"It's weird, because he was such a nice person, and now I'll probably never see him again." Damian sighed.

Janis didn't know what to say. "Yeah. I don't know. Life felt so normal a few days ago."

"I doubt anything will ever be normal again," Damian said.

"This'll become the new normal," Janis replied.

"So forgive me for being awkward, but how're you and Regina doing?"

Janis turned and stared at him. She shouldn't be surprised, seeing as any time she acknowledged Regina's existence, everyone exchanged gleeful glances. But it would be nice for people to have something to talk about that _ wasn't _ her and Regina. "Seriously?"

"Come on, you two are the only tea right now," Damian said.

"There is a literal  _ zombie apocalypse _ going on right now, Damian. There is  _ plenty _ to talk about that isn't me and Regina." Janis lightly bonked Damian on the head with her baseball bat.

"Hey! Save it for the zombies," Damian complained. "Besides, isn't the fact that it's the zombie apocalypse making it all the more important that we know the chemistry between everyone? To make sure we don't kill each other?"

"I'm not going to  _ kill _ her."

"I'm just saying, miscommunication kills."

Janis crinkled her eyebrows. "We aren't miscommunicating!"

"Ooh then what'd you talk about, then?" Damian asked.

Janis mentally facepalmed herself for walking into that trap. "It's none of your business."

Damian nudged Janis with his shoulder. "Come on, I'm your best friend!"

"Well there's always Cady…"

Damian gasped in mock offense. "But seriously, I wanna know!"

"You've made that abundantly clear," Janis said, her voice dry.

"Look, at  _ least  _ tell me if she apologized."

"She did," Janis conceded.

"She say anything else?" Damian asked.

"Um, yeah?" Janis said.

"And it was…"

"Stuff about why she did what she did? Look, what answer are you wanting me to give you?" Janis asked.

"Nothing," Damian answered too quickly, innocently shrugging. "So. How are you two now?"

"We're cool, I guess," Janis said, "Not sure if I totally forgive her, but we agreed to at least clean the slate and start over. We've both done some serious shit to each other, but the rest of y'all are friends so it'd be super awkward to just hate each other."

"Didn't prevent you from doing that before," Damian pointed out.

Janis gave an exasperated huff. "Look, that was before she apologized. She outed me to the entire  _ grade _ , Damian. Besides, you weren't all over me forgiving Regina earlier!"

"Well now that our survival depends on each other, it's important that you're on good terms," he hastily responded.

"Well we are, so…" Janis shrugged.

They sat in silence.

Damian's odd behavior was bothering Janis. She wasn't sure why he was so insistent that they like each other. Wanting in on the drama was in no way a new behavior for him. He'd been doing that since the day they met. But wanting Janis and Regina to be friendly again, that was new. They'd always had fun hating on the Plastics, admitidly not in the last two months when their friend groups had merged, but even then Regina was a common topic of conversation in less than friendly context.

It was easier focusing on her hatred for Regina than more deeply figuring them out. But now, she could no longer hide behind her hatred. When Damian asked how she felt, upon further reflection she had no idea. She didn't  _ dislike _ Regina. But she wasn't sure if she  _ liked _ Regina, either. Did thinking about her make her feel a bit weird inside? Yes. Did she know what that feeling was? No. Did she want to? Probably not.

Besides, like she told Damian earlier, there were better things to think about than Regina. Like the zombie apocalypse. Come to think of it, Janis could hear the zombies amassing outside. So far, though, their barricade seemed to be successful in keeping them out. Although that would prove to be a problem later, whenever they ran out of food. Zombies were the ultimate siege warfare, she mused. As the banging continued, she tensed. She spent the next few hours alert, waiting to hear the tell-tale signs of a zombie entering the house. But it never came.

Damian and Janis walked back into the bedroom to wake up the next shift. Janis shook Karen awake. Karen thankfully woke up far easier than Janis had, and with far less head collision.

After Janis took Karen's place, she had a far harder time falling asleep than she had earlier that night. There were her thoughts of Regina, Damian's insistence that they get along, and the ever-present threat of the zombies banging and clawing at the walls around them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haha I suck at writing crushes and romance so... I'mma just apologize in advance.
> 
> Thank you for reading!


	12. In which Gretchen does the dishes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They have a discussion about the zombies.

Janis woke up the next morning feeling fairly well rested. She looked around the room, and saw that the only other person there was the sleeping form of Karen. She got out of bed, carefully avoiding the piles of blankets on the ground, and went to the kitchen.

Cady was slicing a bagel for herself. "I found these in the cupboard. Toaster's over there." She gestured to the corner.

Janis nodded, walking into the kitchen. She unwrapped a bagel, cut it, then put it in the toaster. "Do we have any cream cheese?"

"Yep!" Cady pointed to the fridge.

Everyone awake was eating breakfast. The whole scene was surprisingly normal. Sure, the sound of their conversation overlapped with the pounding of zombies, but evidently the glass in this house was stronger than that of their old beach house.

Janis waited until her bagel was done, then retrieved it from the toaster. As she spread cream cheese across the crispy surface, Karen came downstairs. Sitting in one of the chairs, she asked, "So what's the plan with all the zombies out there?"

"Leave 'em," Damian said, "They can't get in here, so why should we risk it?"

"Or we could crack open the door and smash them one at a time," Regina offered.

"But there are a  _ lot _ of zombies out there," Damian pointed out, "once the door's cracked open, they could flood in."

"So we use the back door," Regina replied.

"The zombies have hands. They could wedge open the door even more," Damian argued.

"How much hand-eye coordination do they have?" Regina asked.

"We don't know," Cady said, "Although I have to agree with Damian on this one. They could stick their arms through any hole we make and slowly open the door wider. Besides, we have massive barricades. So long as we stay vigilant, we'll be able to survive."

"But then we'll have no control when they  _ do _ come in!" Regina responded, "Say they attacked now. We're right out in the open and unarmed. Biting us would be easy."

"Why intentionally weaken our defenses then?" Damian asked.

The three of them continued arguing. Although Janis was all for killing maximum zombies possible, it did seem a bit risky to open their doors voluntarily. If they had long enough, the zombies would certainly be able to flood in and overwhelm them. Still, they didn’t have enough food to last forever. Not putting a dent in the mass of zombies that would surround them by then could be lethal. Perhaps in the coming days they’d figure out a way for them to mass kill them.

Before Janis herself could even come to a decision on whether or not they should open the door, Cady said they should vote on it.

“How many zombies are there?” Karen asked.

They all looked around at each other.

“I uh...don’t know,” Damian answered.

“Shouldn’t we look outside to see how many zombies there are?”

“Um...yeah we should probably do that. I can go up and peek out the windows,” Cady offered.

“I’ll come with!” Karen added, “I’m very good at guesstimating.”

Janis recalled all of the jelly beans Karen had won at their book fairs in Elementary School. Despite Karen’s atrocious math skills, she still somehow managed to win all of the jelly bean guessing contests. Janis had no idea what Karen did with them. Even then, Regina had been very controlling over their diets.

Cady and Karen walked upstairs. While waiting for them to come back, Janis got up and put her plate in the sink. The plate had hardly touched the ceramic surface before Gretchen instinctively rushed over, plucking it out and rinsing it off, before depositing it in the dishwasher. 

“I could’ve gotten it,” Janis said.

“It’s fine,” Gretchen airly replied, “I always do the dishes anyway.”   
“That’s because you’re bizarrely possessive of them,” called Cady, coming back down the stairs with Karen at her heels.

“Look, it’s not my fault you don’t do them properly.”

“Anyway, it looks like there are at least thirty zombies out there,” Cady told them.

“The front has around twelve, the back has twenty-two” Karen affirmed.

“That’s not counting those on the sides,” added Cady.

Janis wasn’t really sure what to do with this information. There were certainly a lot of zombies outside. If that many had accumulated in the half day they’d been there, Janis wondered how many more would come later. Then again, having that many zombies also augmented the risk… But it’d only be riskier to wait. Janis didn’t want to have to fend off over a hundred zombies. The fifty or so they’d killed in the first house had been hard enough. A hundred would be exhausting.

“We should crack open the door,” Janis asserted, “If we wait until we absolutely have to go, then it’s riskier because we’ll get tired.”   
“Alright, well let’s vote,” Cady declared. “All in favor of opening the door?”   
Regina, Janis, Karen, and Cady raised their hands.

“All in favor of waiting?”

Damian and Gretchen raised theirs.

Regina voiced their official opinion. “So we’re opening the door.”

“Why don’t we all wait upstairs and have one person crack it open and dash upstairs,” Cady put forth.

“That’s a risky job,” Janis said.

“Well, we could have them do it just enough for an arm to fit through, and then wait for them to widen the door,” Regina mused.

“And we could build some sort of barricade like we did in the other house,” Gretchen added.

Thus it was decided. Gretchen collected the remaining dishes from the table, rinsing them and putting them in the dishwasher as she’d done with Cady’s.

After that, they all searched for remaining large pieces of furniture to use for their barricade. Most of them ended up carrying the chairs they were sitting on while eating breakfast, although Damian carried up the table. Gretchen also found an end table to bring up. They all placed their items in the hallway.

“Wait, shouldn’t we bring up some food for lunch and dinner before building it?” Gretchen mentioned. They all nodded, and Gretchen dashed downstairs, coming back up with a cooler. “They had this near the back door.”

Working together, they stacked the tables and chairs up to form a wall.

“Alright, who’s going to crack open the door?” Cady asked.

“We could roll a die,” Damian said.

“Does anyone actually have that?” Regina asked.

“Yep! They have these weird dice in this room,” Karen called from one of the bedrooms, “This one has twenty sides.”

“That’s D&D dice,” Janis called back, “Bring the normal one.”

Karen came back with a red die.

“How about we do this alphabetically?” Cady offered, “Like I’ll be one, Damian two, and so on.” After they all nodded in affirmation, Cady grabbed the dice, and rolled. They all crowded around. It bounced from her hand onto the carpet, landing on a three.

Janis mentally alphabetized their names, and turned toward Gretchen.

“All right, me then,” Gretchen said.

She climbed back over the blockade. They listened in silence, ears alert, waiting for a noise indicating anything. The sound of Gretchen taking down the barrier they’d built near the back window carried up to them. Then, they heard a shriek. 

Five seconds later, a breathless Gretchen scrambled over the barricade, carefully making sure it didn’t tumble down. “Sorry, one almost grabbed me.”

The six of them waited in silence. The shuffling of zombies grew louder. Unlike what Janis’s experience in pop culture had taught her, these zombies weren’t moaning. You just heard the sound of their ominous treading. Time went by, and then the screech of the sliding door widening. A thud. A crash. And then a zombie, walking up the stairs.

“Showtime,” Regina muttered to herself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!


	13. In which Janis aggressively eats ice cream

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They fight some zombies and consume sustenance.

For the second time in the past week, Janis found herself peering down the stairs, waiting for a zombie to get within bashing reach. She was hoping that this time, the flood of zombies would come slower, because they could only get through one at a time. Then again, the other day ago they only had the hole in the glass… Although last time, the barricade fell down. Well, the flow might be reduced, but not by that much…

Once again, Janis was crushing zombie heads underneath her baseball bat. It was giving her a serious sense of deja vu. Although this time, it wasn't only teenagers who were shroom zombies. Now, there were adults too. She didn't see the news reporter, but his zombie form was probably out there somewhere.

They all fell into the same rhythm they had last time– some of them crushing the hands, others hitting the skull. Janis was starting to gain a new respect for mother nature, and how freaking unbreakable skulls were. Especially in comparison to her baseball bat. She was seriously wishing she had some nails or barbed wire. It'd make this ten times easier.

She grunted with each new strike on the head. Looking over at Regina, she saw that Regina was having a bit more luck. That was probably because Regina had a shovel with a metal end that had a point to it. Actually, the image of Regina with her hair slightly disheveled, hitting zombies on the head was kind of–Janis's mind stopped that thought in its tracks. 

_ Nope _ , she thought to herself,  _ we are not going there right now _ . She punctuated the sentence with strikes to the zombie's head. She could not afford to get distracted right now. Zombies were attempting to grab her ankles with bloody, mangled hands, for God's sake. She had far better things to worry about. The zombie she was attacking finally crumpled, sliding down the stairs, taking down a few others on its way. 

They made their way through all the zombies. Thankfully, there weren't any legless zombies this time, because there weren't any who got trampled. Thus when Damian cracked open the final zombie's skull with his skillet, their work was done.

"We should probably wait a bit out here in case there's more," Regina said.

So they waited. They all washed their hands before opening the cooler for lunch. (Ingesting Photosynthetic Mushroom Zombie blood would probably get them all transformed, Cady reminded them.) Inside were slices of bread, cheese, and ham. Gretchen had also packed a knife for them to cut sandwiches. They grabbed the various ingredients, putting together sandwiches.

In silence, they are their lunches, ears alert, listening for zombies.

A minute into her sandwich, Janis saw a pair of zombies come up the stairs. Damian, Janis, and Gretchen were the first up, and handled them fairly efficiently, then washed their hands and continued eating.

Listening for the sound of any more, Janis finished her sandwich and offered to go downstairs and shut the door. Everyone agreed that it was probably be a good idea, so Janis carefully climbed down the barricade, had Damian pass her the baseball bat, and she made her way to the back door.

Thankfully, there weren't any zombies in the surrounding area, as far as she could see. Janis carefully slid the door shut. She then walked back upstairs.

"We should stay up here as much as possible," Regina said, "it's safer."

"Yeah, pretty much for everything except fetching food from the fridge," Janis added.

"Did someone say that 'fetch'?" Gretchen chimed in.

Everyone stared at her.

"God Gretchen," Regina flatly said.

Cady started laughing, and they all ended up joining in. They were laughing hysterically, not for any real good reason but because even in the middle of the zombie apocalypse, some things didn't change. The normalcy of it. Janis actually had tears in her eyes and was gasping for breath.

After a couple of minutes, they all stopped, smiles on their faces. It had been a while since Janis had laughed that hard.

"So. What should we do now?" Gretchen asked.

"We should probably fill containers with water like we did in the last house," Cady remembered.

The six of them went downstairs, searching for Tupperware and pots to pour water in. 

To be honest, Janis doubted the water would be cut off before they ran out of food, but taking precautions couldn't hurt, especially when they didn't particularly have anything better to do.

\--

Dinner was a fairly simple affair of spaghetti. Gretchen pointed out that, should the power go out, they wouldn't be able to boil water or heat anything. And they had no idea when the power would fail. Janis was guessing they had at least four or five days (by which point the food would probably be done anyway), but again, eating the quickly perishables wouldn't do much harm.

The entire scene of eating dinner was far more normal than one would have expected, it being the apocalypse and all. Aside from their easily accessible weapons and the fact that they were eating it in a bedroom, one would have assumed they were merely girls at a sleepover.

After cleaning up from dinner, they decided to watch the news while eating ice cream. Hopefully there would be more news on the zombies since yesterday. Wow...it had only been about about four days since this all began. Only four days and her life had changed so radically.

The moment the ad break was over, the news anchor launched into a story about the zombies. For some reason, he refused to call them as such, instead labeling them as "The Infected." Janis rolled her eyes at that.

Clearly looking at a teleprompter, the anchor read, "Reports of 'zombies' have been flooding into police stations recently. We have found photos of people, seemingly covered in mushrooms, chasing people and attempting to bite them. It should be known that we do not yet know whether this is a temporary change, or a permanent one. If attacked, call 911 and report an attack from the infected. Let them know if you have been bitten or scratched by one. In the case of said bite or scratch, self quarantine is recommended, preferably in a room from which you could not easily escape..."

The news anchor continued on to explain the details of the zombies, basically repeating what they already knew.

"We shouldn't call the hotline," Janis said once the anchor began a story about a boy feeding the homeless.

"Why not?" Cady asked.

"We shouldn't rely on help that's not going to come," Janis pointed out, "we can't be the only people left. They're probably getting overloaded with requests right now."

"But calling wouldn't hurt, would it?" Gretchen said.

"We'd be keeping them from others who need help. We've got a good thing going right now, we have a barricade and can easily kill them. Maybe when we run out of food, we could call them, but until then, what would they even do for us?" Regina said.

"They probably have guns or something," Cady offered.

"So what, they kill the zombies that are already there?" Janis replied.

"They might have a place for us to stay with food," Gretchen said.

"With a thousand other people," Janis retorted, "I've seen movies where this happens. The refugee centers they'll have set up will be packed with people. If just a couple of zombies get in, it'll be so easy for the fungus to spread. We'll be sitting ducks!"

"This isn't a movie! Or a book! Or a show or fanfiction or anything!" Cady exclaimed.

"I don't know if that's true…" Karen said brightly.

"Anyway, we don't know if that'll happen," Cady continued, "The real world isn't like a book or movie or anything."

"We're fine right now," Regina said, "Maybe once we run out of food there we'll reevaluate."

"What if it's too late by then?" Cady worried.

"It could be too late now! Even if we do call, we don't know what will happen. Devil you know versus devil you don't." Janis aggressively scooped her ice cream.

"I'm tired. Why don't we go to sleep?" Karen asked.

The four arguing looked at each other.

"All right," Cady conceded.

The six of them got ready for bed, assigned guard duty (Janis was with Gretchen in the final shift), and climbed between the sheets.

Thoughts of hotlines and zombies and Regina and mushrooms and news anchors and ice cream swirled around in Janis's head until it finally melted into sleep.

Janis was sitting on a barstool in a 50's style diner, surrounded by her classmates. They all wore these odd white gauzy robes that were layered around them, flowing from their neck. Janis looked down at her clothes. She was not wearing robes. Instead, she was in her classic artsy garb.

Everyone was staring at her. Their gazes felt itchy on her skin. She had to find robes, she had to.

Janis hopped off the barstool, and ran out the door, mushrooms sprouting in her wake. Mushrooms the same color as the robes. Her robe clad classmates followed behind her, shuffling. They never touched her, yet that was somehow more eerie.

Racing into the street, Janis remembered she had to catch the bus. Right. The bus which would take her to the robes shop. 

After a minute of uncomfortable stares, the bright pink bus finally came. She got on. There was no place to sit on the bus. It was empty, save for one other person.

Regina George.

Who was not wearing white robes. Or looking at her.

As the bus shakily started moving, her jacket began to feel unbearably hot, so she slipped it off. All of her clothes were starting to gain the same uncomfortable amount of heat.

She was sweating. Salty liquid oozed from every pore from her body, making her clothes uncomfortably wet. She stripped those off too, layer after layer until she was completely naked. Yet somehow, it didn't feel wrong.

Regina looked at Janis, took two strides forward, and passionately kissed her.

Janis's eyes flew open. She was back in her bed, Damian shaking her awake for guard duty.

That wasn't supposed to happen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, I would like to caution you that my romance writing skill is very lacking. I'm sorry if my portrayal of crushes feels awkward and unrealistic.
> 
> I finally planned out a bit better where this was going! I kinda had a couple other points I wanted to get to, but didn't know how to arrive there. I think I do now! Yay! With that, I also added a chapter count (kinda).
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	14. In which there is a very awkward breakfast

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Janis and Gretchen talk.

Janis got out of bed and went to the doorway for watch duty, numb from the dream she'd just had. Gretchen was already there. She didn't appear to be irritated with Janis at all from their debate that evening, which was good because Janis would not be able to focus on that at all. Gretchen was probably used to bouncing back after an argument, seeing her friend circle. In retrospect, it was a miracle Gretchen got involved in the debate at all. Regina did not seem to be the type to accept opinions aside from her own.

Oh Regina… Janis really wanted to avoid thinking about her, especially after last night's dream, but she couldn't help it. As far as Janis's thoughts go, all roads lead to Regina. There wasn't really any way for Janis to avoid it anymore– she had a crush on Regina. Dear God, she had a crush on her childhood best friend turned bully turned decent turned friend. Who was straight. And this out of the question. These next few months would be greaaaat. 

Were it not for the zombie apocalypse, she'd go off to college and never see Regina again. Her crush would wither and wane. She'd be able to have a college experience where no one knew the whole Regina/Janis/Plastics backstory. It would have been great. But now Janis got to spend months with Regina. It was doubtful her crush would be able to come to a natural stop there, especially since Regina was acting so  _ nice _ now. Now, Regina was both hot  _ and  _ a good person to be around.

"What's up, Janis?" Gretchen asked.

Janis was startled from her thought process. "Hm?"

"You just seem really lost in thought," Gretchen explained, "What's wrong?"

"Nothing." There was no way Janis was telling Gretchen about this. Janis knew that Gretchen had a tendency to spill all secrets given to her. Especially to Regina. And there was  _ no way _ Regina could  _ ever  _ know about this.

"Come on, I know when something's wrong," Gretchen said, "Please don't make me say 'Spill the tea'. Ever since my mom caught on that one, it's flair has been lost…"

Janis shrugged.

"C'mon, you can trust me," Gretchen insisted.

"Sorry Gretchen, but you consistently spill everyone's secrets."

"Okay, I only told them to Regina and Cady," Gretchen responded. Janis raised her eyebrows, and Gretchen hastily added, "And I don't even really do that anymore! Karen told me who she most recently had sex with the other day and I didn't even tell anybody!"

Janis was simply surprised Gretchen didn't say the name right out loud. "But you literally just told me she told you."

"Yeah, but I didn't tell you  _ who _ ," Gretchen pointed out, "look, maybe I can help with whatever it is!"

"I doubt that," Janis muttered.

"Twenty questions?" Gretchen asked.

"Why are you so determined to figure this out?" Janis asked.

"Well, first of all, we're going to be stuck in the same group for a while. And also we have nothing to do for three hours, so…"

"Fine, 20 questions then," Janis ceded.

"Ummmm… Are you angry at someone?" Gretchen asked.

"No."

"Is it boy- no wait, girl trouble?" 

"I guess?"

"Did she do something to you?"

"No," Janis said, "Well, yes. But that's not the issue– or well, it is but that's not the exact problem. It contributes to it but isn't the heart?"

"Ohhhh do you have a crush on someone?" Gretchen asked.

"Yes." Janis was shocked Gretchen had gotten it this fast. Then again, Gretchen was very good at reading body language and that vein of skills, so she shouldn't be  _ that _ surprised.

"On who?" Gretchen asked.

"Isn't this 20 questions?"

"Right. Is it someone we know?" Gretchen inquired.

"Yes."

"Is it Cady?"

"What? No!" Cady has always felt a lot like Damian to her– like a very close friend.

"Regina?"

Janis sighed."Yes."

"Wait, really?" Gretchen asked, looking far more excited than the situation merited.

"No, I lied and secretly have a crush on Damian." Janis sarcastically intoned. "Yes, really!"

Gretchen's face contorted as though she wasn't sure what to do with it. Happiness seemed to fight restraint which seemed to fight frustration. "Well...hm. What do you plan on doing with it?"

There was the real question. Janis hadn't thought about it much. She didn't want to tell Regina, because that'd be awkward. And where would you go from there? "Live with it, I guess."

"You're not going to tell her?"

"Uh, no," Janis said, "She's straight. It'd only be awkward."

"You can't be sure about that. Also, communication is very important for relationships," Gretchen replied.

"Look, Regina and I just became cool again. I'm not going to just possibly ruin it just because I have a tiny little crush!" Janis exclaimed.

Gretchen's voice was strained. "Well just... consider telling her?"

Technically, Janis already had. "Fine."

\---

Breakfast the next day was a quite awkward affair for Janis. Because she had the last shift, she was already awake when Regina came downstairs. She now realized that the odd feeling in her stomach which seemed similar to nausea was not from a lack of sleep (which sometimes happened when she only slept 5 or 6 hours) but from seeing Regina.

It certainly didn't help that Gretchen was staring at her while she ate the leftover spaghetti (they decided that the bagels could be eaten without toasting, while spaghetti could not, thus Janis suspected that pasta for breakfast would become a frequent phenomenon in the upcoming days), as though trying to get her to profess her undying love to Regina. Even if Janis  _ was  _ going to tell Regina (and she wasn't), she certainly wouldn't do it in front of everyone. Rejection was never fun. And everyone watching her get rejected– that would hurt even more.

Because of the newfound intensity of Janis's awkwardness while near Regina, she avoided being caught alone with her.

This was not to say that Janis thought of Regina the entire day, simply that over half of it were thoughts of that sort. She forgot when they killed the small horde of zombies that had accumulated in the past few hours (Cady had opened and closed the door this time). She forgot when they once again debated whether to call the hotline or not (they decided on not for now). And she forgot during random clips and pieces of the day. But it always lurked in the back of her mind. 

Thankfully, when it came time to decide who was with who for the watch that night, she could immediately pair up with Cady. Cady was many things, but observant of emotions and internal turmoil was not one of them. Gretchen also paired up with Damian, leaving Regina with Karen.

Cady did not try to involve Janis in a talk-about-your-feelings way, thankfully. Janis finally had quiet time to fully process her emotions. She liked Regina. But Regina was straight. So Janis resolved to squash her feelings for Regina, and never think of it again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh Janis...
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	15. In which Gretchen and Damian are Acting Weird

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anyone up for a game of Never Have I Ever?

The next day was rather standard. Janis noticed that Gretchen and Damian were hanging out more frequently than usual.  _ Good for them, _ she thought. They were now eating less food, in the hopes of being able to last in the house longer. After all, they had a pretty good situation there.

This was officially the day which they should have been leaving. It had been a week. It didn't feel like it had been that long. It simultaneously felt like a few days and forever since they had driven here.

The day after, the power went out.

Karen had found Monopoly, and they were playing that while watching the news in the background. Then, all of the sudden, the drone of the anchor's voice disappeared. The TV turned black, along with the lights. They held their breath. When they flickered back on, they gave a sigh of relief. Then they turned off again.

This time, they didn't come back on.

"So what's the plan?" Cady asked, "we obviously shouldn't open the fridge unless absolutely necessary so the produce and milk doesn't go bad."

Janis immediately turned off her phone so the battery wouldn't drain, and recommended the others do the same.

"Now we probably don't have much time until the water shuts off," Cady pointed out, "So we should probably drink up now. And top off the pots and pans."

Thus they went downstairs, filling glasses to the brim with water and drinking as much as possible. Janis couldn't remember the last time she had been this hydrated. She knew that she was supposed to drink water, but she usually got by just fine without drinking a lot of it. So whenever the water shut off, she was prepared for that. Although staying clean and going to the bathroom would  _ suck _ then.

Dinner that night was a somber affair. It was weird, having childish peanut butter and jelly sandwiches in such a serious circumstance. It was almost surreal. Like a dream, but unfortunately with less kissing–  _ nope! _ Janis thought to herself,  _ we are not going there _ . Although the more she tried to avoid thinking about it, the more images of what kissing Regina would feel like flooded her mind. She felt her cheeks heat up. She took a large bite of her sandwich to disguise this.

"We should do something fun tonight!" Damian broke in.

"Like what?" Cady asked.

"How about Never Have I Ever and then Truth or Dare?" Gretchen offered.

The entire exchange felt a bit odd to Janis, particularly Damian and Gretchen's parts. She told herself she was just being paranoid, though.

"With or without booze?" Cady asked.

"With, obviously" Regina said.

They all say in a circle.

"I'll start," Damian said, "Never have I ever failed a class."

Cady, Karen, and Gretchen took a sip.

"Never have I ever kissed a boy," Janis said.

"Not fair, you almost kissed me," Damian replied.

"Key word being almost." Janis smirked. Everyone but Gretchen and Janis drank. "Wait, Gretchen you haven't?"

"Nope! I had other things to think about that weren't boys!" Gretchen responded.

"Never have I ever uh… gone to the hospital?" Cady finally said. Everyone but her passed around the bottle. "Wait really?"

"We  _ were _ born in hospitals," Damian pointed out.

"And I visited Reggie in the hospital," Karen added.

Cady blushed, looking guilty. "Oh."

"Never have I ever won a competition," Regina said.

"Wait, really?" Damian asked.

"Well, unless you count topping the hierarchy of the school, no," Regina replied, "I never did any extracurriculars or anything either."

"Not even a drinking competition or anything?" Damian added.

"Okay, fine then. Never have I ever won a competition that would be acceptable to put on a college resume." Regina smirked. "I drank our linebacker under the table."

The image of Regina drinking that much was not an easy one for Janis to conjure up. Then again, she'd only seen Regina drunk once and that… hm. That was a memory that only served to confuse Janis. It was probably distorted a lot from all the alcohol she'd had that night, anyway. There was nothing to it.

"That was not fun for anyone," Gretchen said.

Now Janis was curious. What was Regina like drunk? Gretchen seemed like the type of person to just constantly be designated driver. So she probably had good memory of the event and maybe some of it had to do with Janis. Maybe when she saw Regina in the bathroom she was talking about– no. Janis reminded herself that she'd only be setting herself up for rejection. Regina was definitely totally straight. Right. "So, what happened?" Janis asked.

"Well, he bet that he could drink more than her. And Reggie was never one to turn down a bet, so she set up a wager. If she could out drink him, she got $100."

"Seriously?" Cady asked.

"Yeah, I know, not that much. I should've bet more," Regina responded.

"No that's...that's a lot of money," Cady said.

"Anyway," Gretchen continued, "if he turned back now, he'd look like a coward, so he did it. Regina drank a lot, but nevertheless, she beat him. So she got $100. Which was good for her. She should've given it to  _ me _ though, because I was the one dealing with–"

"Please stop, Gretchen," Regina said, a forced smile on her face.

"But that's the best part," Gretchen whined, frowning.

"Not for me it's not!" Regina hissed.

"Fine. But you and Janis get guard duty together tonight," Gretchen said with a smile that, to Janis, seemed slightly sadistic.

"Why am I being brought into this?" Janis exclaimed, "That's not fair!"

Damian jumped in. "No, I agree with Gretchen. Janis and Regina should totally be on watch together."

"You too, Damian?" Janis gasped.

"I think the alone time will be rewarding!" Damian replied.

"I don't know what you're playing at, but for the record: I hate you," she whispered to him.

Damian just smiled.

"Fine," Regina said.

"Anyway, Karen your turn," Cady reminded them that they were playing a game. 

"Never have I ever finished reading a book for school," Karen said.

Everyone but her took a sip.

"Wait really? Never?" Cady said, "How do you get away with that?"

"I failed almost every English class," Karen replied.

"My turn. And I think the people who have done this one should finish off the whole bottle," Gretchen started.

"Um no," Janis said, "that's a bit unfair."

Cady and Regina nodded in agreement.

"Fine, fine," Gretchen said, "Never have I ever had a crush on someone who I was friends with before I got the crush."

Janis cocked her head and glared at Gretchen. "That's remarkably specific."

Gretchen just smiled.

Janis and Regina grabbed the bottle at the same time. Janis let go first, allowing Regina to take a sip before she did.

"Okay, that was fun! I think we should call it quits! Don't want to fight zombies hungover! Regina and Janis, you go on watch first!"

Janis sputtered. What the hell was going on?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh boy...
> 
> Thank you for reading!


	16. In which Janis is justifiably upset

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Janis and Regina are on watch together.

"What the heck, Gretchen?" Janis asked after the Never Have I Ever game.

"Huh?" Gretchen responded innocently.

"Seriously, I tell you I don't want to tell you what's wrong because you always spill everyone's secrets, and then the first thing you do is tell Damian?" Janis continued.

"You don't  _ know _ I told Damian," Gretchen replied.

"Oh come on, like there's literally any other reason you and him were conspiring during that game to make me reveal that I had a crush on her," Janis was nearly shouting, but didn't want to let the entire house know.

Damian entered the room, "To be fair, you weren't being very discreet with you making puppy eyes at her the entire time."

"But you just don't tell other's secrets to people,"Janis said.

"Don't hate me yet," Gretchen said, "maybe she likes you back!"

Janis raised her eyebrows. "Look, I don't... fine. I'll do guard duty with her, but could you guys please not scheme? I thought we were done with that shit."

"Now that's just low," Damian replied. "First of all, it wasn't my idea to get revenge on Regina–although  _ yes _ I helped, but that was your idea anyway. Second of all, there is a world of difference between getting revenge and–"

"And practically revealing my crush to everyone here," Janis interrupted.

"Okay,  _ fine _ ," Gretchen said, "it was wrong of me to tell Damian, although to be fair, he  _ is  _ your best friend. And maybe revealing that you had a crush on one of your friends at some point in life wasn't totally cool either. But now you two get alone time!"

"Uh, that's kinda what I'm trying to avoid," Janis responded.

Damian and Gretchen exchanged this indecipherable look. 

"You'll thank us later," Gretchen said almost in a sing-song voice.

Great. She was going to be alone with Regina. With a slight bit of alcohol in her system. What could possibly go wrong?

\---

As everyone else went to bed, Janis and Regina sat outside the bedroom, waiting for zombies. Or that was what they told themselves. In reality, it would be more accurate to say each was waiting for the other to say something about the Never Have I Ever game that had just happened. It was like a game of chicken. Janis would've asked Regina who her crush was...if not for the fact that Regina would ask hers, and if Regina's was anyone but Janis, it would be very awkward. Scratch that. It would be awkward either way. And Janis...wasn't in the mood for awkward right now. Or at least, she didn't want to initiate the awkward.

Thankfully, she didn't have to, because about ten minutes in, Regina turned to her and said, "So about that game…"

"Yeah…" Janis gave an awkward chuckle.

"Are we going to talk about that?" Regina asked.

"Not if you don't want to," Janis replied.

"Well I only will if you do," Regina said.

"What is there to say?" Janis asked, "Aside from the obvious of course."

"Nothing, then," Regina responded.

"Would you like to talk about your crush?" Janis asked.

"Not really," Regina responded.

Wait a second. Did Regina ever have any crushes who were guys? The realization struck Janis with odd fire. Maybe she  _ didn't  _ have as bad a chance as she thought. "Are you…" Janis started.

"Am I what?" Regina said.

"Gay?" Janis finally asked. She knew directly asking this question probably wasn't the most tactful thing to do, but Janis had just enough alcohol in her system to think "screw it." Besides, she  _ had to know _ .

"Yes? Or well, I'm pretty sure… I mean, I'm 90% I  _ do  _ have a crush on y- the um. Friend. Who I had to take a sip for." Regina awkwardly stumbled around the words.

"Is this your first crush on a girl?" Janis inquired.

"Yeah," Regina replied.

"Damn. That sucks," Janis said, "'cause then you have to see her all the time."

"Hey, we're both in the same boat," Regina pointed out.

"Were we not on watch right now, this seems like a moment we'd ironically clink our glasses together," Janis commented.

"Yeah" Regina gave not a laugh, but more of a louder exhale than usual in response.

"Is it Cady?" Janis queried.

"No," Regina responded, "Why, is that yours?"

"No," Janis replied, "Besides, that would  _ really _ be hopeless. You've seen how she is with Aaron."

"Fair enough," Regina said, "Although, now that the zombie apocalypse has happened, who knows when she'll see Aaron again."

"Yeah," Janis said, "oh and thank God you don't them Shroomers."

"Psh, that's stupid," Regina agreed, "Just call them zombies! We're familiar enough with the creatures from pop culture."

"Exactly," Janis replied, "it's really a shame that all of the couples have broken up with all this." She waved her hand around.

"Yeah, Cady and Aaron probably won't be able to be a thing. It's unlikely they'll be able to find each other without one of both being bitten first."

Janis sighed. "And Collin got bit within the first three hours. So I'm not sure you could call him and Damian a couple, but it was obvious that it'd happen eventually."

"Please, with the eyes they were making at each other, they were going to get together within the week," Regina said. "Hey, is your crush on this vacation with us?" Janis asked.

"Of course," Janis answered, "all of my friends are. That's the only reason Cady could peer pressure me into this. Why?"

"Maybe we could set you two up so the third couple works. Three time's a charm, right?"

Janis barked a laugh. "Yeah… That… You definitely… I doubt she likes me back, though. Maybe I could help you with yours?" It would be hell for Janis, but if it made Regina happy then it'd be worth it.

"Ha! No, there's no way in hell she likes me back."

"How about we both say them at the same time?" Janis asked. This could be a total disaster, but what the hell?

Regina bit her lip, took an uneven breath, and finally said, "Y'know what? Why not?"

"One, two, three," Janis counted.

"You" they both said at the same time.

"Wait really?" Janis said.

"Um. Yeah?" Regina replied.

Through the wall, Janis heard someone murmur, "oh thank God."

Janis rolled her eyes.

"Seriously, Gretchen?" Regina said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gretchen is so lucky her scheming worked.
> 
> Thanks for reading :)


	17. In which Janis once again berates Gretchen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Janis and Regina vibe together

The three hours of Janis and Regina's watch hadn't been finished yet. From the sounds of movement in the bedroom, it seemed like Gretchen had gone back to sleep. Thankfully.

Janis knew that Gretchen didn't mean any harm, and had just wanted her and Regina to get together. Still, Janis didn't totally appreciate Gretchen's brazen intervention with the whole affair. Admittedly, it was probably necessary for Regina and Janis to finally confess to each other. Had Regina not liked her back, though, it would have been very awkward. Although, Janis mused, that was probably  _ why _ Gretchen had been fighting so hard to get them back together. Eavesdropping on Regina and Janis's conversation...that was probably where Janis drew the line. That was really what grated on Janis.

She made eye contact with Regina. They both grinned.

"God," Janis said, "We have the snoopiest friends, don't we."

"You've got that right," Regina replied.

"So uh. Where do we go with this?" Janis asked.

"I don't know," Regina admitted.

"Are we dating right now?" Janis said, "Because forewarning– I have  _ never _ been in a romantic relationship before so um. I don't know."

"Well, it's the zombie apocalypse so dating will be...different," Regina responded, "like we shouldn't go anywhere until we run out of food because I would not like to die on our first date."

"Nor would I," Janis agreed, "death is generally bad. But like, what do you usually do?"

"Hold hands. Kiss. Snuggle. Go out to movies and dates together. Text. Have sex."

Janis started a coughing fit. 

Regina smirked. "Obviously the texting is a no go. But that's what I've done with my boyfriends so…" Regina shrugged.

"You can't just spring phrases like 'having sex' in the middle of a normal conversation," Janis said.

Regina raised her eyebrows. "Why not?"

"I don't know, that's just… sudden...and I don't really know how to respond," Janis replied.

"Well, you're very cute when confused and mildly embarrassed," Regina said, "God it's so nice to be able to say that."

Janis smiled. "So are we holding hands, or...what's the plan?"

"We can do whatever you're comfortable with. I have plenty of experience and am way more... overtly…" Regina paused. "Romantic? Sexual? Than you, so…"

Janis thought about it. If she was drawing the lines… That was a lot of pressure to be putting on her. "Okay, so, if you're not comfortable with anything, please tell me. But I'm going to say handholding is fine. Just not, like, while we're banging up zombies."

"Just don't bang the zombies," Regina muttered.

"What?"

"Sorry."

"Um. Anyway. I guess kissing is fine, but I'd prefer we reserve that for in private. I don't want to be super obnoxious, even if they'll all know we're dating the second we step in the room tomorrow," Janis explained.

"I'd ask you out on a date, but that's not possible right now, so… Wanna force Gretchen to make us food and eat in a separate bedroom from everyone else?" Regina asked.

"Sure. When?" Janis answered.

"Today I guess." Regina decided, " We're running out of food, so I guess I'd like a semi-decent meal before we just eat bagels or whatever."

"Yeah we should probably get Gretchen to estimate how much time we have left…" Janis recalled.

"Great! So… it's a plan!" Regina responded.

The two sat in awkward silence for a few minutes.

Regina turned her head and stared at Janis, a smile lingering on her lips. "So. Can I kiss you?"

Janis grinned, "I don't know," she snarked, " _ Can  _ you?"

"Oh shut up." Regina's lips met hers. It was the best feeling Janis had felt all week.

\---

The next morning, when Janis walked into the bedroom they ate breakfast in, Karen clapped her hands in excitement. "Yay! You're finally dating Regina!"

Janis looked at Regina, who shrugged. "Don't look at me. I told her nothing."

Turning toward Karen, Janis asked, "How did you figure out so quickly?"

Karen happily waved her hand. "It's obvious! Neither of you looks as lost and sad. You're not avoiding seeing each other."

Now that Karen pointed it out, it seemed obvious.  _ She  _ didn't even realize that she tried not to see Regina. But she definitely was doing that, she realized.

Gretchen sipped her water. "I'm so glad you're dating!"

"Oh yeah, Gretchen?" Janis began.

"Hm?"

"Could you  _ not _ eavesdrop on private conversations?" 

"Sorry," Gretchen said, "I just  _ had _ to make sure you guys didn't just totally evade that conversation."

"Just don't do it again," Janis replied.

"Okay, I won't eavesdrop. Unless you two, or anyone else here, starts being stupid and not realizing that stuff," Gretchen promised.

"O…kay," Janis responded. It wasn't an airtight promise, but she supposed it was in Gretchen's nature to be involved in everyone's business. That had practically been her job for all of high school. It'd take a while to break the habit.

Overall, dating Regina didn't seem to have that much of an impact on Janis's day, excepting the dinner they had Gretchen make (she was all too willing to cook it). The largest difference Janis felt was the relief of the constant anxiety she'd had pertaining to Regina. Even though she didn't notice it at the time (it had been weight that she'd long since grown used to), it dragged down how comfortable she was with everyone, particularly with Regina. Now, even though she was a bit nervous, her insides didn't feel at war with each other on figuring out how she felt about Regina. That processing space in her head was now free. 

It was really nice.

The dinner Gretchen made that night was a very fancy peanut butter and jelly sandwich. It was a bit awkward– Janis had no idea what one typically discussed on a first date, but it was enjoyable. It was the company that mattered, not the food quality, Janis soon learned. And Janis finally got the chance to talk about stuff that wasn't super deep and meaningful with Regina– not that she disliked those conversations, she just wanted to get to know Regina on the superficial level she hadn't before. They could talk about bands and parents and TV shows.

Needless to say, it was the best day Janis had in a while.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Buckle up >:)


	18. In which Karen and Janis discuss zombie naming conventions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Karen and Janis's watch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I haven't been posting as often. I've just been rather busy lately, catching up on schoolwork and all because I have to go back to school soon.

"So, you and Regina," Karen prompted as she and Janis sat on watch. 

What was it with being on watch that made everyone want to have these psychological conversations? Perhaps it was the degree of sleepiness that begot disinhibition. Or maybe it was just the only time they could talk one-on-one, which was most conducive to the deeper conversation tract. And was  _ everyone _ having these deep conversations or was it just her and whoever she was with? She remembered that Gretchen and Damian had been on watch together the day after she confessed her crush on Regina. Evidently they had spent their hours scheming on how to get Damian and Gretchen together.

"You and Regina?" Karen repeated.

"Oh! Sorry," Janis said, "I zoned out there for a second."

"What were you thinking about?" Karen asked.

Apparently, unlike  _ some  _ people (*cough*, Gretchen, *cough*), Karen wasn't as determined to know all the details of her and Regina's relationship.

"Oh, just about how weird it is that every time I'm on watch, one of you guys talks to me about deep stuff or relationships or something," Janis answered.

"Huh," Karen replied, "That is weird."

"Guess it's the fact that we're so tired," Janis said.

"Yeah. Feels more like lazy writing to me," Karen commented.

"What?" 

"Nevermind," Karen replied cheerily, "I mean, this is the only time when we can talk one-on-one or anything. And we kinda  _ have to _ talk if we're out here for three hours together."

Janis nodded, "that's what I thought too."

"But you and Regina," Karen reminded Janis.

Or Karen just wasn't as obvious about her determination.

"Yeah. I don't really know how to work relationships, but I'm excited." Janis smiled.

"You guys are great together!" Karen said, you'll be a Shroomer-killing couple!"

"Why don't you just call them zombies?" Janis asked, "that would be so much easier!"

"Because in every work of fiction, you _can't_ call them zombies. They have to be Walkers or The Infected or something," Karen replied.

"I guess. That always just seemed stupid to me," Janis said, "if you call them 'zombies,' everyone knows what you're talking about."

"Well, what else would you think I'm talking about if I say 'Shroomer'?" Karen retorted.

Janis paused, thinking about it. She supposed it was pretty obvious what Karen was referring to. "I suppose."

"Besides, these could be some different breed of zombies," Karen said, "we don't even know that they're zombies!"

"Of course they are! They're your textbook running zombies, plus mushrooms I guess," Janis replied.

"But are they dead?" Karen asked.

"I don't know… I guess the bodies haven't seemed to be decaying as they come. So they're technically alive, just had their brains taken over by mushrooms," Janis explained to herself.

"They have to be dead for them to be zombies," Karen said, "so technically, they're not zombies."

"Huh. I guess you're right." Janis was shocked. Karen actually corrected her on something. And it wasn't related to makeup or clothes or anything like that. Karen had corrected Janis on something of substance.

"Just because I'm a ditz doesn't mean I don't know stuff," Karen cheerily replied. 

"How do you even know that?" Janis asked.

"I don't know. I think I overheard someone talking about zombies at some party. People spit out weird facts while drunk," Karen explained.

"True enough."

Karen began humming some pop song that Janis didn't recognize to herself. After about ten minutes, Janis suddenly heard footsteps. She sat up straighter, unsure if she was simply hearing things out of paranoia or if there was actually a zombie (or Shroomer, she supposed she should call them) in the house.

The footsteps continued. 

Janis and Karen locked eyes. "Shit." Janis said, turning on her flashlight. Sure enough, a middle aged man covered in mushrooms was running up the staircase. She snatched up her frying pan as Karen grabbed the toilet tank cover. Because Janis had the better weapon, she gave the flashlight to Karen, and bashed at the zombie's head. 

"Guess we forgot to close the door," Janis commented as the Shroomer tumbled down the flight of stairs.

They were now faced with a dilemma. Do they go downstairs and shut the door while in the dark, or do they just hope no Shroomers come upstairs in the meantime? It would be risky, but might be worth it. After all, there was still another watch after them.

"So should we shut the door?" Janis mused aloud.

"No, that seems really risky," Karen said.

"But what if Regina and Gretchen get Shroomers on their watch?" Janis asked.

"They'll kill them," Karen simply stated.

"But… I don't want Regina to get hurt," Janis insisted.

"Please, Regina has a brain. She's the Apex Predator, remembered?" Karen replied.

"I know. It's just… I suppose you're right," Janis decided. "She knows what she's doing. And besides, she has Gretchen. So long as they stay behind the barricade, they'll be fine. And the zombie flow seems really light, seeing as we've only seen one so far," she reassured herself.

Karen nodded. "Yeah, although it sounds like you're talking about periods."

Janis barked a laugh, "Well they are Photosynthetic Mushroom Zombies. So you could say they're PMZing."

Karen smiled.

The rest of their watch was fairly uneventful. Only two other Shroomers showed up. This reassured Janis even further. When they went to wake up Regina and Gretchen for the next watch, Janis notified them about the fact that the door was open.

It was hard for Janis to fall asleep that night. Being on watch meant you had to fight the Shroomers in the dark. Still, Janis reassured herself, Regina knew what she was doing. She wouldn't make any foolish choices. She mentally chanted this mantra as she fell into an uneasy sleep.

* * *

Janis was roughly shaken awake by Cady. She was surprised. Usually they didn't wake each other up, just waited for everyone to come out as they woke up naturally. As Janis blinked the sleep from her eyes, she noticed tears and redness in Cady's eyes. A deep sense of foreboding overcame Janis.

"What happened?" Janis asked.

"I'm really sorry," Cady said, "but Regina... Regina's been bit."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not sorry.
> 
> Also, I will be going on a brief hiatus. Hopefully shorter than a month, but probably 3-7 days.


	19. In which Janis is angsty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Janis and Regina talk to each other.

“What?” Janis said, refusing to believe the terrible words which had just been uttered.

“She was on watch with Gretchen and they decided to close the door. But over five Shroomers had already entered the house. So Regina...she was bit,” Cady replied.

“What about Gretchen?” Janis asked.

Gretchen entered the room, not even trying to hide her tears.. “I wasn't bit. I… we only wanted to send one person down, just in case. And she said she should do it because she's better at defending herself.” Gretchen's voice shook as she explained.

“And you just let her go?” Janis asked, a tremor entering her voice.

“Um. Well. We argued about it for a bit, but you know Reggie… she’s very aggressive when she wants something, and I didn’t think that…” Gretchen fiddled with her hands, watery eyes refusing to meet those of Janis.

While Janis really hated that Gretchen had let Regina go off like that on her own, she had to admit that it was totally in character for Regina. Of course Regina would feel determined to redeem herself. Of course Regina would be good at arguing with Gretchen. Of course Regina would play the hero the one time she shouldn’t. And naturally the world had to make it just after she and Regina were getting started in their relationship. Just as life started to seem to be going up again, just as she was getting the hang of it, life had to throw something new at her. Something terrible. Something permanent. 

“Is she still here?” Janis finally said.

Gretchen nodded.

“Where?”

“She’s waiting outside underneath the-the balcony. She didn’t want to die until she’d… ‘til she’d seen you and said good-goodbye” Gretchen stuttered out.

Walking back through the top level, Janis went out onto the balcony, thanking the architect for providing away for her and Regina to communicate without getting near each other. But cursing the world for hating her like this. Opening the sliding door, she stepped onto the porch, and saw a collapsed Regina. It looked as though she’d fallen asleep waiting. Her skin was already pockmarked with sprouting shrooms.

“Regina!” Janis called.

Regina gave a start. “What? Oh, Janis!”

“How dare you?” Janis shouted, “How fucking dare you. How dare you go and get yourself killed! We only started our relationship and you just had to go get yourself bitten! The audacity of you! How could you? I thought you cared. What am I supposed to do now? What am I supposed to do now. I care about you Regina, you can’t just be reckless like that. Jesus Christ, Regina, I lo-like you so much. I care for you so much. So much. So...” Janis’s voice broke.

The blonde below her looked a bit shaken by Janis’s rant. “I’m sorry, I didn’t think it would happen. I thought it’d be easy killings.”

“Why didn’t you both go?” Janis asked.

“We didn’t want both of us to die. And we really didn’t think it was necessary for us to both go down,” Regina explained.

“So why not Gretchen?” It was a harsh question. Janis cared about Gretchen- she really did- but she cared about Regina so much more. 

“Because I’m better. It was more likely that she’d get bit than me if she went, and honestly, if it came down to my life or hers… I’d… I’d choose hers,” Regina admitted.

“But what about me?” Janis implored, “What about us?”

“You can survive without me,” Regina said, “You’ve always been able to survive without me. Or others. You don’t need other people. You’re independent.”

“But that doesn’t mean I don’t want to be with you,” Janis responded.

“I know. I know. But Gretchen deserves to live far more than I do. Life already tried to kill me once with the school bus. I suppose it just wanted to try again,” Regina sighed. She seemed resigned to her terrible fate.

“No you can’t just give up! There has to be something. Some cure, some fix, some way to escape-”

“Janis I know you’re smart. We haven’t seen any evidence that anyone can escape. Cady may be good at anatomy and biology, but she’s no professional. This is it. I always knew that High School would be my peak, but I didn’t expect to crash this quickly. I have 22 hours at best. 15 or less at worst. And we don’t know the process of zombification, so there’s no guarantee that I’ll even be safe to be around” Regina explained.

Janis searched for something, anything, to decrease her feeling of despair. Over the course of the conversation, it felt like she was slowly falling to earth, waiting for the inevitable impact as the ground was swept out from under her. “Is there any way I could, I don’t know, kiss you again?”

Regina sadly smiled. “I’m not sure if that’d be totally safe. I wouldn’t want the spores getting into you. But I suppose… it wouldn’t hurt for you to come down here and I don’t know, hold my hand or something.”

“Sure,” Janis answered before thinking. It was small- ever so small- but at this point, Janis would take anything she’d get.

“One condition,” Regina added.

Janis felt her stomach plunge again.

“You have to kill me,” Regina said.

Janis blinked. “What?” Surely she had misheard or something.

“You have to kill me,” Regina repeated.

“Why?” Janis’s brain was rendered incapable of forming sentences longer than one syllable.

“I don’t want to accidentally bite any of you while I’m a zombie. The others have already said goodbye. I don’t want to risk infecting any of you if you’re tempted to see me again. And I don’t want you locking me up or anything because you’re too afraid to kill me. And to be perfectly honest, I don’t want to be a zombie. I don’t want my humanity slowly taken away from me. If I die, I want it to be in fully human form next to someone I love.”

“I…” Was this technically a dying wish? Probably, since Regina had gotten bitten, and without action taken, she’d end up a zombie forever. So there really wasn’t any choice at all. It was her responsibility, as the one who lived, to kill Regina. To save her from the fungus by killing her. Besides, Regina’s explanation made a surprising amount of sense. “Alright. I really, really don’t want to, but fine.” Janis sighed.

“Thank you.”

Janis walked back into the house. Cady and Gretchen looked toward her, saw her watery eyes and head bowed, and turned away. She grabbed one of the knives that they’d brought to the second level and climbed over the barricade.

Gretchen’s mouth opened for a second. “What are you doing?”

“I’m going to kill Regina.”

“Sorry, what?” Gretchen asked.

“I’m going to kill Regina. She asked me to. So I’m doing it.” Janis’s voice lacked any trace of emotion.

Gretchen nodded. “Okay,” she said softly.

Janis walked downstairs, not caring if there was a zombie there or not, but prepared if there was. She stepped outside, where Regina waited. 

She broke into a run, and just started hugging Regina. 

Regina emitted a small “oomph” sound.

After a couple of minutes, Janis finally released Regina.

“Hi,” Regina said, softly smiling.

“Hi,” Janis said, “and… goodbye I guess.”

“Yep.”

The two just stared at each other a couple of seconds.

“Can I have one kiss? Mouths closed?” Janis asked.

“Sure,” Regina responded.

At the same time, the two of them leaned toward each other, and pressed their faces against each other. It wasn’t even close to as successful as their first kiss was, yet somehow Janis loved this one more. And hated it more too, simply for the circumstances.

When they finally parted, Janis asked the question. “How should I do it?”

“Do what?”

“Y’know…” She was unwilling to say the word.

“Oh. Um. I don’t know, slit my throat or something? It might be a bit shocking, but I’m not an expert in killing people,” Regina attempted a joke.

An unconscious smile came onto Janis’s lips. “Alright.” She carefully took the knife, and sliced through the jugular vein. Regina began to bleed out before her.

Grasping Janis’s hand, Regina softly whispered, “Thank you, Janis. Thank you. For everything.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! I'm back! Yeah I guess I kinda left y'all on a cliff hanger last chapter. How was I to know that "less than a month" would end up meaning over two? (Haha I totally should've known I'm sorry). I've been very busy the past few months, because homework SUCKS. But because Break Season is coming and I'm feeling motivated to write again, there might be more chapters soon? (She said, very tentatively) Probably not daily, but maybe possibly weekly or something. Honestly, it'll probably be super irregular. Hopefully now that I'm in the ~writing vibe~ it'll be easier.  
> Anyway, thank y'all for reading!


	20. In which Janis goes to town killing zombies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Janis is sad. Also, she kills Shroomers.

Janis watched the life leave Regina’s body in shock. She couldn’t tell how much time had passed, she just sat staring at the lifeless form that was once her friend, once her enemy, and once her girlfriend. Her golden hair marred with blood and her perfect skin marred with the white mushroom tops. Even her clothes somehow began to lose their excitement without the assertive posture of the apex predator wearing them. Her arms were flopped on the ground,in a careless position she never would have held them in life. Her position suggested a certain lack of calculation, an innocence, an element of prey that Janis had never seen, even when Cady usurped her. The girl on the ground, that was not Regina. It wasn’t the Regina Janis knew lifelessly lying on the sandy dirt. It couldn’t be. “It’s not her,” Janis began muttering to herself, “It’s not her.” It became a mantra she repeated as she stared at Regina, still clutching the knife she used to slit Regina’s throat.

Suddenly, a pair of strong arms yanked Janis away. She whipped around, accidentally slashing Damian’s arm. “Hey!”

“Oh, sorry,” Janis responded, not really caring.

“Hey,” Damian said, his voice softer this time, “you okay?”

“Oh gee!” Janis exclaimed, “Of course I am! The zombie apocalypse is happening, except the zombies are covered in mushrooms for some fucking reason. Oh and I’m pretty sure the zombie apocalypse happened because some stoners were eating a pizza with shrooms. And even though it’s the zombie fucking apocalypse, we’re all adjusting pretty well, then I discover I have a crush on Regina fucking George who oh by the way has been my ENEMY for the entirety of high school. So I’m freaking out until I discover that she also has a crush on me, which is great, so my enemy becomes my friend becomes my girlfriend. Oh and then she just has to go get herself bitten by a zombie and she fucking asks  _ me  _ to kill her! So yeah,  _ Damian _ , I’m not doing too hot right now. In fact, I’d say I’m fucking terrible. Thanks for asking!” Somewhere through her angry tirade, she’d started crying.

Damian, meanwhile, stood there in shock. After around thirty seconds, he stopped staring at Janis with a startled expression on his face and just said, “Oh Janis.” He spread his arms, and Janis willingly fell into them. Halfway through the hug, Damian began rubbing Janis’s back in a soothing way. Janis slowly relaxed to a slightly more reasonable level of panic, and together, the two walked upstairs.

When they came back upstairs, Janis disappeared into the bedroom they were using for storage, not wishing to socialize with others. She just wanted time alone, to process everything. That was really one thing about the zombie apocalypse- it offered plenty of spare time, but not much  _ alone _ spare time. The last few days had been very chaotic. And unfortunately, food was running out, so it seemed like the future, too, would be chaotic. Janis found herself thinking, “If only I had  _ one day _ where nothing happened,” Janis found herself thinking, “That’d be enough to at least process half the things that have happened. Just one day.”

But she knew better than to hope for even that. And she knew that she didn’t really deserve it either. After all, like it or not, she had just killed a person- not just a zombie, a living breathing human person. Admittedly, Regina had asked for it, but Janis doubted that the eyes of karma would care. And for all Janis knew, maybe the fungus  _ didn’t _ have a 100% kill rate or something. Of course, it was highly doubtful, but it was still possible, right? Yet Regina had asked. Part of Janis began to hate Regina George for putting her through this internal hell. But she could never fully hate Regina, not even when she wanted to. And that was the sad thing. It was Regina’s dying wish, so if given the choice, yes. Janis would do it again. But that fact offered very little solace to her. She had killed someone- someone she knew, and that would not be something she’d easily forgive herself for. Not something she should be forgiven for, anyway.

In that bedroom used for storage, she got used to the notion of herself as a murderer. She didn’t come to terms with the fact, merely numbed herself to it. In fact, Janis felt her entire emotional complex growing numb. She didn’t have it quite in her to care, however.

Outside the room, she heard murmuring, her name mixed with phrases like “should be concerned,” “worried about her,” and “in there too long.” Janis wished she cared, but it didn’t seem to matter. Of course, she  _ was _ making her friends worry, which could potentially inhibit their survival… Slowly, Janis’s goal transformed from keeping herself and friends safe to merely keeping her friends safe. After all, it wasn’t like they were murderers. She rose from her position on the ground to join those outside.

When she walked out of the bedroom, everyone was standing outside of it, and conversation totally stopped.

“Hi,” Janis said, “What’re you talking about?”

They all looked at each other nervously. Finally, it was Cady who piped up. “We were just wondering if we should do the daily letting in of zombies, since Regina’s gone and all.”

“Absolutely,” Janis said, “Otherwise they’ll just accumulate.”

“Are you sure it’s okay?” Gretchen asked, “I mean, you don’t have to participate, seeing as your girlfriend just-”

“It’s fine.” Janis gritted her teeth. “I’m fine. Let’s just kill some Shroomers.”

Once again, the four exchanged worried glances.

“You’re not going to, like, y’know…” Damian led.

“No, Damian, I’m not going to off myself via Shroomer bite,” Janis responded.

They all let out sighs of relief. Janis was a bit surprised that they all had that as a collective concern. She supposed that’s what they’d been discussing while she was in the bedroom.

“Okay, I just figured I should check, since…”

“Can you not reference the fact that I just killed my day long girlfriend please?” Janis asked icily.

Damian backed away. “Alright, but if you ever need to step away from the fight, just let us kn-”

“I will.” Janis knew it wasn’t fair to Damian, that he was only trying to help, but she was trying to ignore the void in her where Regina had been. “Let’s just… let in the zombies.”

“I’ll do it,” Cady quickly said before Janis had a second to volunteer.

Cady dashed downstairs to open the door, racing back up in what Janis thought was record time.

Today, Janis killed the Shroomers with more fury than usual. Each of the zombies could have been the one that bit Regina. Well, not really because Regina had killed all of those, but for all intents and purposes, each of those Shroomers had offended her personally. It was their fault Regina lied rotting in the sun outside. Their-Janis bashed a zombie particularly forcefully- fault. 

With Janis’s heightened aggression, they killed all of the Shroomers with uncharacteristic speed. She looked with satisfaction at their unmoving bodies. It wouldn’t bring Regina back, but damn did killing zombies feel good. At least then, there was some sense of right with the world. Janis vowed to take out as many Shroomers as possible. She felt a bit better after taking her rage out on the attacking mob- still like shit, of course, but better. Like somehow through killing the forms of what Regina would become, she made up for killing Regina herself. It helped her feel useful, she supposed. Her numb rage helped protect those still living, after all. And for now, that was all she could hope to do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rip Janis (and Regina).  
> Yeah this is getting dark. 
> 
> Thank you for reading! <3


	21. In which people get hungry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The squad runs out of almost all the food.

“We’ve run out of food,” Gretchen said.

They were sitting in the main bedroom, discussing their plans for the future. Damian was sprawled out on the bed staring at the ceiling fan while Gretchen gave them the run down of their dire situation. They were out of all food items except for peanut butter and jelly. They peanut butter, Janis figured, could sustain them for a bit, but after that… they’d definitely need to find a new house.

“So should we stay or should we go?” Cady asked.

“Should I stay or should I go now,” Damian sung to himself

“What?” Cady asked.

“Nevermind,” Damian commented.

“If we stay there will be trouble-” Cady continued.

“But if you go there will be double,” Damian muttered.

“Um. Yeah? But I’d think that there’d be more trouble if we stayed for longer because it’d just mean more Shroomers then,  _ and _ we’d be more weak and tired for lack of food,” Cady explained.

“It’s lyrics to a song,” Karen said with a slight grin on her face.

“God, I can’t believe how much American culture I’m  _ still _ missing out on,” Cady commented.

“Hey, we have volumes of it. That’s our primary contribution to the world’s economy,” Damian said, “Entertainment. Especially musicals.”

“Mostly musicals,” Janis added.

“Oh musicals are the most important. And Taylor Swift.”

“Musicals I know,” Cady said.

“Please, know Damian for five seconds and somehow you’ll know the entire plot of Le Mis,” Janis commented.

“Anyway, food,” Cady said, bringing them all back on track.

“Yes,” Gretchen said, “Food.”

“I think we should leave today,” Janis declared. She was ready to escape this terrible place, where Regina had died. She was ready to leave- to escape this location where she had killed one of the people most dear to her.

“But it’s going to get dark soon,” Cady said.

_ It already has _ , Janis thought to herself,  _ if Regina is the sun, then it has now been extinguished _ . “So it is.”

“We should have the peanut butter tonight and tomorrow,” Gretchen said, “And then leave tomorrow morning.”

“Okay,” Janis said, “that sounds fine.” As much as Janis wanted to leave, she knew that it was far more important that they travel by daylight.

“So we’re packing up again tonight,” Cady clarified.

“Yep,” Gretchen said.

It was odd having these important conversations without Regina. The zombie fight, too, last night had been odd, but Janis was still caught up in her rage so much that it didn’t make the absence so glaringly obvious. But Regina had always been one of the voices which had contributed the most to these conversations. And now… it was gone.

If you had told Janis a year ago that she would be this sad about the death of Regina George, she wouldn’t have believed you. Janis thought of this and realized how far her opinion of Regina had changed since then. She’d gone from fiercely hating Regina with every fiber of her being (except the one that stealthily admired her power and had a crush on her), to lo-liking her with those same fibers.

“Alright, let’s get started,” Cady said, and they all separated to get their supplies together. By this point, they were getting quicker at knowing what they did and didn’t need. Janis noted that this time, Gretchen wasn’t bringing her makeup with her. Once again, Janis filled her bag with containers of water, clothes, and other helpful materials.

From the bathroom, Janis heard Gretchen say, “Oh shit.”

“What?” Cady called.

“We’re out of tampons,” Gretchen commented.

“Oh,” Cady replied, “Karen, do you have any?”

“Huh?” Karen looked up from the clothes she was folding, “Oh, no I’m on birth control.”

“We’re going to be travelling anyway,” Janis pointed out, “We can always, like, walk to the convenience store or something. Or there might be some in the next house or something. Are you alright for the next few hours?”

“I hope so,” Gretchen replied, “Just so long as we go as early as possible to the next house.”

“So should we go at dawn?” Cady asked, “Do one final let in of the Shroomers then go?”

“Sure,” Janis said, “that’d also probably make the most of the daylight too.”

They began packing with newfound urgency. There was only around one hour left until sundown. They managed to complete their packing with only fifteen minutes or so left until dark. Then, they all realized that there was now an odd number. There were only 5 of them now, which meant they either had to only have one of them for one of the shifts, or that they’d have to only have two shifts.

“What should we do?” Cady asked.

“I’m fine with doing two shifts. I’m not used to getting much sleep anyway,” Gretchen said.

“No, we’ll need all of our energy if we’re going to be travelling tomorrow,” Janis pointed out, “I’ll take the solo shift.”

“No you won’t,” Cady and Damian said simultaneously.

“But I’m the best at killing the Shroomers,” Janis argued, “well. Of the people left. But I’m the best person to take that shift, because I’ll be more able to defend myself alone.”

“It’s not your zombie killing we’re worried about,” Damian said softly.

Janis rolled her eyes. “Could you guys stop babying me? I’m not made of glass.”

“Nobody said you were,” Cady replied.

“But seriously, I can handle myself,” Janis said.

“What if I take the solo shift?” Karen said to defuse the tension.

They all glanced at each other.

“What? I can kill Shroomers too!” Karen exclaimed.

“How about we just have two shifts then,” Gretchen repeated, “Someone can just get a very full night of sleep.”

“So who doesn’t take a shift?” Cady asked.

“Not me,” Gretchen said, “I pretty much got four hours of sleep for the duration of the school year, so I’ll function just fine.”

“I actually think Janis should,” Cady offered.

“No, you’ll need me at night, because I’m the best at killing Shroomers,” Janis replied. She was determined not to disadvantage any of the others.

“Yeah, but you’ll need the sleep more than us so you can more effectively kill them tomorrow.”

“Ooh you’re right!” Karen agreed. The rest were also nodding.

“Look, I don’t think you guys understand. I can survive one night without sleep,” Janis said.

“But your reaction time will lower,” Cady argued, “If you’re the best like you say you are, then well, it’s in all of our best interests that you don’t only get four hours of sleep. Tomorrow will probably be our riskiest day yet. We need you in prime condition.”

“Fine.” Janis really hated how correct Cady was. As much as she wanted to be on guard all the time, she also knew how lethargic she was without sleep. Curse Cady for having a good point. 

The rest of them arranged the shift schedule between the four of them. Janis, meanwhile, just stared out at the window. She could see a couple of zombies running toward them, something they’d have to deal with tomorrow when they let the Shroomers in the final time for this house tomorrow. Cady and Damian took one shift, with Gretchen and Karen taking the other.

Just as the sun dipped under the horizon, Janis, Gretchen, and Karen took the mattresses and sleeping bags on the floor. Shockingly, it took Janis very little time to fall asleep, probably because she was exhausted, both emotionally and physically.

The next morning, Janis woke up to Gretchen shaking her shoulder. Startled, she blinked the sleep from her eyes, getting up from her nest on the floor. Gretchen had procured several spoons from somewhere, and passed them around. They each scooped peanut butter from the jar onto a plate, some of them mixing jelly into it too. It had to have been the weirdest breakfast Janis had ever had, and that included the haphazard meal she and her dad had to throw together after one of her mother’s cooking fiasco (they ended up eating mashed bananas on toast, which tasted surprisingly good. They had been out of butter, and other, more usual, condiments, and needed something to prevent the bread from being dry. Thus they put the bananas on the toast). + Still, she was having a hard time eating anyway. The knowledge that they were going to do their first commute in the middle of the zombie apocalypse (the first few days had been too early for it to be a true outbreak) filled Janis with anxiety, her nervousness pooling into a hole in her stomach.

Finishing their odd breakfast, they all grabbed their weapons. Damian went downstairs to let the Shroomers in one last time, and together they smashed, stabbed, and banged their way through the wave of zombies. Janis noted that there were quite a few more than there had been in days prior. It made her nervous, but then again, hopefully this just meant that the only mob they would encounter that day was the one they were slaughtering now. But the longer they waited, the greater the risk, so Janis braced herself for the worst.

For the first time, it was Karen who killed the last zombie. Janis chose to take this as an optimistic omen that they were all becoming better at zombie bashing. They all then packed their bags, climbed over the barricade, and left.

After merely seeing the interior of the house for so long, it was weird for her to finally see the outside world again. She’d seen it when she went outside, but for the first time, she was seeing the world scarred by the zombie apocalypse. The world was desolate. Surprisingly, though, it was not quite as ravaged as she’d anticipated. Sure, a few windows seemed to have been broken by Shroomers desperate to get back outside, but overall, there was none of the raiding that she’d grown to expect from zombie movies and shows. 

They walked through the street, trying to remember where the convenience store had been (they all remembered seeing one, but none of them recalled where it was). As she searched around her, she heard a voice next to her.

“Oh shit,” Gretchen said.

An enormous mob of zombies was heading straight toward them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!


	22. In which we find the squad attacked by zombies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They fight some Shroomers, with mixed results.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We reach the last couple of chapters.

There was a massive horde of Shroomers running straight for the six-no, five- of them. The faster zombies pushed through the others. Most of the Shroomers appeared to be middle aged and children. With horror, Janis realized that this wave of zombies wasn’t filled with senior citizens or tourists. It was families. Shroomer children, many as young as five, were running toward them.

Karen, Gretchen, Damian, Cady, and Janis made eye contact, then whipped around to run away. It was obvious how unfit they were. The zombies were gaining on them. They either needed to break into a house, or fight the Shroomers. Running would only make them easier targets.

“Where are we going?” Karen gasped between breaths.

“Are we fighting or hiding?” Cady asked simultaneously.

Janis looked around her. They were surrounded by small one-story beach houses and two-story condos. If they could keep the Shroomers out of whichever location they chose, any shelter would be better than outside. But if they were trapped in a small beach house, where if zombies came in, they’d be overwhelmed.

“We need an unlocked house with heavy-duty windows,” Janis said.

Dashing for the nearest house (only one floor), Cady tried the doorknob. “Dammit, it’s locked!”

“Try the back!” Damian tested the door of another house.

Cady ran around to the back door as the rest of them tried the doors to other houses. So far, people seemed to be unfortunately good at home security, despite the zombie apocalypse. As the Shroomers quickly approached, Janis called out, “I’m not sure we have a choice, they’re all-”

“Got one!” Gretchen called from the doorway. They all sprinted over to the yellow cottage, practically trampling over each other to get inside. Cady, the last one in, slammed the door shut with more force than necessary. Janis gasped for breath for a minute, then examined her surroundings.

The door had a window in the middle of it, so she could see the approaching mob. The house seemed to have been left in a rush, the bedspread left in disarray. Drawers were still left open. On the table, there was an askew travel brochure and ad for a rental agency. Clearly, the cottage was a rental. Janis guessed that the tourists who’d been staying here had left once the zombie apocalypse had started. That was probably why the door was unlocked.

Cady rapped the window with her knuckles. “I’m not sure if these’ll hold. How long until they get here?”

Once again, Janis glanced out the window. “Maybe a minute? Two?”

“Dammit, you’re right,” Cady said, “We’re screwed.”

“Back up near the walls and get rid of your backpacks,” Damian advised.

“Now what?” Karen asked.

“Now we cross our fingers and hope for the best,” Janis responded, watching the running mob. They’d all gotten used to the sight of zombies, but this was different. This was new terrain. This was riskier than before. The zombies would be closer, and one of their most skilled fighters was gone. And there were even more zombies now. Janis gripped her bat tightly as she heard a crack.

A mushroom covered a middle aged man swinging his head at the window.

Bang!

Blood poured out of a teenager’s pockmarked forehead as she bashed her head.

Crack!

The first crack formed.

Crunch!

More Shroomers joined the movement.

Crash!

The glass shattered. Shroomer hands and heads reached through the shattered hole, cutting themselves on the sharp edges. They tore into the window, trying to grasp the five of them backed against the wall. Leaning forward, one tumbled through the gap, and began walking toward them.

“I’ve got it.” Janis stepped forward in the small room, bashing the Shroomer’s head. Just as she stepped back, another fell through, replacing the first. She slaughtered that one too. More zombies began toppling through the broken window. She retreated back to the wall, poised to spill some Shroomer blood.

Together, the five of them swung their way through the first few zombies of the horde. Just as they got the hang of it, more came to replace them. The room grew more and more crowded, as the five of them grew quicker and quicker as the Shroomers came faster and faster. The floor grew slick with blood. The zombie bodies began to pile up, some of them tumbling toward them. Janis kicked the body away from herself, disgusted.

From the corner of her eye, Janis saw Damian lunge forward. One of his feet fell onto a pool of blood, and before Janis could do anything, he slipped and fell on the ground. The next few seconds passed in slow motion for Janis. A short zombie with buckteeth bent down over Damian. He thrust his crude weapon up, but it did nothing to slow the attack. The zombie sunk its teeth into Damian’s nose.

“No!” Janis said, as if her words could somehow prevent Damian from becoming a mindless Shroomer, “No, no, no, no, no.” Not Damian. It was bad enough when Regina was bitten. But this was somehow so much worse. Not Damian, who had helped her through so much of the pain and suffering that plagued her in high school. Not Damian, who helped her through her bad days, and laughed with her on the good ones. Not Damian, who stood by her side no matter what she came up with, no matter how messy her life became, no matter how caustic her personality was. He was her best friend- had been for four years.

“Janis-” Damian warned.

“How dare you get bitten on me?” Her eyes began to grow wet.

“Janis-”

“There has to be  _ something  _ that can be done”

“Janis-”

“What?”

“Focus on your surroundings.”

Janis managed to tear her eyes away, and saw the onslaught of Shroomers which had accumulated. She continued slaughtering the zombies, this time with far greater urgency. There was a ferocity in her attacks that hadn’t quite been there before. This attack was now personal. A lethal mixture of rage and despair coursed through her veins. How dare the zombies take away her right to even mourn? Then again, there would be time to mourn Damian when this fight was over. All she had to do was get through this wave. Then she could talk with Damian again, at least say her goodbyes.

Damian rose from his position on the ground, his nose gushing blood from the attack. Now that he didn’t need to be worried about being bitten, he recklessly charged into the horde. More and more zombies rushed in, faster than the five of them could handle, for each Shroomer that entered, it knocked a bit more glass out of the window pane, leaving an ever growing hole. Even with Damian’s ability to be careless, it seemed like it might just be too much.

With horror, Janis realized that this could be it. They were backed up against the wall, and although staying indoors had given them some time, now they had no escape. How the hell was this even fire safe? Then again, there would probably be zombies out there too. 

“There are too many of them!” Gretchen cried.

“We should try our best!” Karen said optimistically.

“Don’t hate me guys,” Cady began, “but we could always plug the windows with our own bodies.”

“What?” Gretchen asked.

Cady explained to them one possibility while bashing the skull of a particularly bothersome Shroomer. If one of them sacrificed themselves, then those two could guard the windows, and it wouldn’t matter if they were bitten more. They could prevent the Shroomers from entering the building, and then those left inside would just need to finish off the remaining zombies left inside. “I’ll do it, of course. It was my idea, so it’s only right that I execute on it.”

“Absolutely not,” Janis said, “It should be me.” She punctuated her statement with a crack at the zombie’s head.

“Or I’ll do it!” Gretchen called.

Janis realized then that this could be her purpose. Her life would have meaning in its death. She’d lost Regina and Damian- it was only right that she be bitten too. “No. It has to be me.” Without further debate, she stopped her attack just long enough for a Shroomer to bite her arm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's been so long since I've last updated, haha. We're reaching the end, gang! Well... kinda...  
> Anyway, thank you so much for reading!


End file.
